Okay, Nadia Mars. Find me.

I've subconciously begun looking at one bedroom apartments in the LA area. Its not like I could actually afford to move out, but its nice to dream.

Anywho, I am beyond bored at the moment as I sit in my grandparents' kitchen, but I am hestitant to leave because I have infected the rest of the household and feel dutybound to nurse them back to health as they did me.

I want to start on that diet blog, but I really need to figure out a way to make a lot of money quickly since this Europe trip is only two months away. I've basically come to terms with the fact that I will only be eating ramen and such for the next couple of months, but I'm okay with that.

Here is my estimation of debts that need to be paid prior to this trip:

Credit Cards (if monthly charge remains the same) = $270
Rent = $900
Utilities = $500-650 (this is a total guesstimation)
Gas = $100 (I'm seriously considering walking to work henceforth, which will also help my weightloss goal)
Currently unpaid debts to others = $124 (this is not including what I owe Emily for hostels, travel, etc.)
Food = $300 (hopefully this will be possible)

Total expenses = $2344

I will make an estimated $3600 from my current job between now and March 8th.

Total money left over = $1256

The amount of money that I want to save/put towards the trip is $3,000

I need to figure out a way to make $1744 in the next two months from somewhere other than my current employment.

Now, Kellie and I discussed selling our plasma (yes blood, ew!), but even if I do the maximum donations per week for the next 9 weeks, that will still only garner me $540, which leaves me with $1204 I still need to make somehow. I'd sell my eggs but it seems to be a long/complicated process. Maybe when I get back.

For now, I'm gonna start looking into local places of employment (would you like fries with that?) but this whole recession crap is probably gonna make this difficult. What I really need is to win some giant lump sum of $$$$.

The even more difficult aspect of this is that I don't need the $3000 on March 8th but before hand in order to buy all the stuff we need for travelling (i.e. railpasses, hostel stays, etc.). I really only plan on bringing enough for food and entry to museums and such. My souvenirs are going to be entirely of the photographic variety (and maybe a hot boytoy to bring home with me).

So 2010 is going to begin with several complications, but at least I won't have to worry about school nonsense. Woot!

Off to a bad start

So the weightloss thing is progressing-ish. I'm a little frustrated because I was planning on starting my blog from day 1. Unfortunately I was hit by some sort of super virus that decided to make me comatose for two days.

On Sunday night I was feeling bleh and was having a hard time focusing on things. Then Monday morning I came in late for work cause I just could not get up on time. About halfway through my shift I started to get dizzy and decided that after I finished my C-table I would just leave, which is what I did. My parents had invited me over for dinner that night so I threw some clothes and my phone charger in my trunk and drove out to Sylmar. On the drive over I just started to feel progressively worse and by the time I got there any mention of food just made me nauseous. My dad gave me some Pepto and I basically crashed on the couch with a bucket conveniently placed next to me. After throwing up a little I took some Nyquil and belatedly remembered to call work. Sorry about bugging you Kellie, but I needed someone to be aware I wasn't coming in on Tuesday before I completely passed out.

I ended up sleeping from like 7pm on Monday until noon on Tuesday. I managed to eat a bowl of cereal, a taco, and a piece of pizza yesterday without throwing it back up, but I still spent the majority of the day asleep on the couch. Apparently Emily came over to the house several times while I was knocked out. Today I feel better, but still feel a little weak. I think I'm dehydrated, so I've been guzzling the water bottles.

The upside to all these shenanigans is that I've lost 6lbs since our initial weigh in. So I guess my first diet was illness and it seems to be effective. Unfortunately its not very glamorous or enjoyable.

Also this was an extremely poorly written blog, apologies about the oversimplified syntax and all. Its still a little hard for me to focus on things.

Looking forward

It is official, I will be "across the pond" from March 8th to the 29th.

We land in London and fo shiz will be in Dublin on St. Paddy's. Other than that, the itinerary is still in the works though we do know we want to go to Scotland, Italy, France, and Spain.

I CAN'T WAIT!!!!

And my sister Arwen is gonna take us to REI sometime this week to get our backpacks. Also, she's probably gonna pay for our rail passes. Sweet!

Today also marks the first day of our weightloss contest (get ready Nadia!). I started out great with my two double cheeseburgers at lunch and my bowl of mashed potatoes for dinner. When we weighed in I found out that Arwen weighs (what I thought was) my goal weight. Nothing against her, but after seeing what it looks like I might have to shoot for an even lower one.

I think I'm gonna blog about my weight loss endeavors (though I didn't "apply" for that one job), but not here. I might make a whole new blog just for that, but its gonna be super secret and the only person that will be able to find it is Nadia Mars. We'll see.

More to come, but my fingers are cold and I need to stop writing so I can put them under the blanket again.

Ta!

because I have no life

I love this picture. SO CUTE!!!

I just got a 40% off coupon in my email for DVD box sets. I totally could've returned my dad's present and repurchased it after payday for the same amount. I could've had $60 to roll with this week. Balls.

So I've been surfing craigslist looking for ways in which to make $$$ and there is one listing that needs people who are dieting or going to start dieting to blog about it and all things related. THIS IS TOTALLY ME...well in a week or so when we start our competition. I am very much thinking of applying for this. Especially since I can do it on my own time. AND it will force me to actually diet and look for ways to achieve my goal.

the haps

Another strange dream in which me and a male celebrity are coworkers. This time it was the amazing Nathan Fillion. This was more understandable since I saw that adorable picture online earlier in the day.

Anyhizzle, I am finished with college. Last final was taken last night and I'm fairly certain it will result in a passing grade. Graduation ceremony is Wednesday, May 19th at 6:30pm. You may join if you so wish. There will most definitely be a party, but it remains to be seen when the date of that is.

In anticipation of getting paid tomorrow I am going to eat an actual meal tonight and have asked Nadiapots to accompany me since we hardly ever hang outside of work anymore. It has been difficult having no $$$ but on the upside, my grilled-cheese sandwich diet has resulted in me losing 7 lbs. Woot woot! That much closer to my new wardrobe.

Hohohodown tomorrow night! Be there or be ultimate lame sauce.

This is only one of seven ads they made, but the little girl's comments crack me up.

Christmas wish list

All I want for christmas from you is this:

A small album/collection of photos of you making funny/ugly/awesome faces.


For example:

I did absolutely nothing today except turn in my walking journal and go to the bank. Then I came home, ate and slept from 1:20 to 5:45pm. Then I ate some more.

Its nice to have an actual day off sometimes.

WELCOME HOME KTP!!!

So due to unforeseen financial difficulties on my parent's part (i.e. they found out they'll need to pay the entire $500 dwp bill for my grandparents + the $300 it took to fix my grandma's car two days ago), I will need to return half of the presents I bought yesterday in order to pay one of their bills and still be able to eat, drive, etc. until payday next friday.

After my initial "that blows" I've come to be okay with it. I can always buy them again. In fact, I was slightly tempted to return it all except the boxset I got my dad is a way better deal at 40% off and I need my little cousin's bday present for Tuesday. Unfortunately, these two things are also the most expensive items, but c'est la vie.

Just so you know, its highly likely that if you get a present from me it will be made by my two little hands.

I had a dream the other night in which Jamie Bamber (was gonna do the towel pic, but decided to show some variety) and I were running some sort of summer camp. It was weird how normal our conversations were. Oh and one of the little kids at the camp was Kellie's daughter. Definitely Kellie's daughter, very precocious.

Anyway, it was just such an odd dream and when I woke up and recalled it later in the day it left me a sort of "hmm" feeling.

Went to the gathering (it was a bonfire) and had an excellent time. All the peeps there were very interesting and welcoming.

Also I found out that my final next wednesday is gonna be open book & notes. Unfortunately we only know the general themes that we have to choose from and not necessarily what kind of question we're answering. so I have to prepare in a vague sort of way.

This week is strangely boy week for me.

Went to a bar with classmates last night and ended up giving this guy my phone number (first time--eek!). We'll see if he uses it :(

Tonight after class I'm going to a gathering that this guy from my summer school class invited me to. I debated for a long time about going cause I will literally only know him. Plus apparently his friends are super quick-witted and I have little faith in my wit. Especially in social situations with new people. I could still back out, but we'll see. If it gets too awkward I'll just bone out cause I have to be up by 6am anyway.

*sigh* today I basically undid all my efforts at saving money. I spent about $130 at Borders today getting prezzies with my discount. It coulda been worse but I decided against getting a couple of things at the last minute-->including the Star Trek DVD with the hopes that Santa will leave that in my stocking along with the Vikings.

I should probably start listening to the class discussion...

In case you missed it

Awesomeness

Plans

It is Christmastime and I am happy.

Also, I've made a few life decisions that hopefully will work out well.

1. I've decided not to apply to Grad school this year because of a few reasons: I haven't taken the GRE yet and some of them require this--and its not something I want to rush into, your portfolio is like 90% of what they're judging and I don't think mine is up to par--I've been splitting my focus what with school/work/etc., and I really don't want to rush back into school because I'm still a little iffy on what I want from my life and not confident in making that financial commitment.
2. I need to get a second job. This may seem like a stupid idea in lieu of the portfolio biz, but the fact is I need more money. I've been cutting back spending recently and its sort of working (i.e. I actually have $$ in my bank account), but its not helping eliminate my credit card debt and its not really allowing me to save a whole lot. Starting in July I'm gonna be paying back my student loans and ideally I'd like to have my credit card debt taken care of.
3. Its time to lose weight. My immediate family is having a friendly competition in order for us all to get a little healthier. Whoever loses the most weight (in terms of %--biggest loser status) by the end of April 2010 will get a new wardrobe (a few outfits) compliments of the rest of us. I intend to win.
4. I'm going to write a book. Who knows if it will get published, I'm just going to write it. I won't describe it here (cause I don't trust the interwebs) but it is an awesome idea and you will love it. Just ask me for deets if you're curious.

I guess its kinda like new year's resolutions but I never actually follow through with those so hopefully these will work out. CROSS YOUR FINGERS!

Come April, I will look like this:

Quote of the day

"Dominic, if you don't settle down in the next ten seconds, I'm gonna text Santa."

So my sister is coming home tonight from a 2 week long vacation. I've spent approximately one week of that time by myself at my house.

It was really nice.

I find that I kind of like living alone after living with other people my whole life (most of whom were family). I'm sure there would be some days that I'd want someone to talk to about my day, but I like not having to worry about what kind of mood someone else is in when I get home, or if they cleaned up after themselves, etc. I think it might be fun to live alone for like 6 months as a test run. We'll see. My future is hazy, especially with that darn 2012 approaching.

I feel like my life is that cliche scene in a bad romantic comedy

So apparently at the ripe old age of 23 I've reached that point in life where if I mention a guy's name every woman in my family has to ask if he is single/we are dating.

Wtf?

My love life = pathetic.

More accurately, my love life = non-existent.

A few people have said to me that they're going to find someone to hook me up with. But, frankly, the only people who have said this are people whose friends I really never ever want to meet. Ever.

Anywho, vacation did me well. I have been in quite the chipper mood since and work has been waaaaay less stressful/annoying. The only weird thing is our new GM. He doesn't speak. Terin and I were having a conversation about how annoyingly passive he is. I don't bother saying Hi to him because frankly I couldn't care less if he knows I exist. As long as he is aware that I will never be wearing an earpiece, I am fine. Similarly, I have no inclination whatsoever to introduce myself to/befriend the twenty-something newbies we hired. I hardly ever interact with other people and when I do, its intentional on my part. So, sorry new hires, but you're just not worth my time. Especially since none of you are attractive looking males upon which I can gaze in delight. Fugly the lot of you.

Moving on.

I am currently sitting in the school library composing this post instead of composing a 10 page paper on Feminism & The Scarlet Letter. I'm sitting in the library because my fraking interwebs won't work at home (argh!!!!) and I'm blogging because I have a latent desire to sabatoge my academic success in order to avoid entering "the real world". However, this may be slightly unsuccessful in itself because "the real world" basically means getting a job and this bitch has been consistently employed since the 5th grade.

I have exactly one and a half pages written on the scandalous Hester Prynne and her role as a feminist icon. Well, at this point, there's not actually too much on her cause I started out with the reference to Anne Hutchinson in the opening chapter. *yawn* I hate this book.

In other news, that blasted 7th check plus in my writing class eluded me once again. The deal is that if we get 7 check pluses (plus'? pleese? pli? whatevs) out of our 10 written assignments, then our grade gets that extra little boost at the end of the semester. I'm not particularly worried about my overall grade, but in this class at least I want to excel. Because I was absent more than I thought I was forced to turn in two exercises the Thursday before last in order to fulfill the 10 requirement. I also needed to get a check plus on both in order to meet the 7. I got them back today and 1 has a check plus. The other has a check and then this scribble next to it where HE CROSSED OUT THE PLUS!!!! What the hell?! I totally had a plus and he took it away! Unfair.

Also, I got to class and found out that on one of those days I was absent they changed the schedule and apparently I was supposed to have been the peer reviewer for one of today's stories. Fun! Not. I had no idea. I couldn't even wing it because I wasn't there last Tuesday (I was in Colorado) and when she emailed her story to the class there was no attachment. Balls. So I told my teacher I would turn one in on Thursday and he said I'd get extra credit for it (cause I actually already did my required review a month ago and this was gonna be extra anyway). So hopefully this will make up for that phantom plus.

In other news: My friend Jennie is pregnant!

That is all.

Sort of another thing I didn't see

So in addition to my ongoing list of things I didn't see/do in NY, my mom actually saw this and I am jealous.

Apparently while she was waiting for me and Emily at Times Square she saw two real gay guys get in a tiff about something one of them may or may not have said. Then I guess the four other gay guys in their group joined in by taking sides. I just really want to hear what a gay New Yorker sounds like cause according to my mom it only made the whole thing more hilarious. Gah! I want to witness a gay New York brawl!

Anyhoo, I could probably go on forever about the things I still want to do, so this shall be my last. Promise...hopefully.

thought of another one

I DIDN'T GET ON CASH CAB!!!!

I can't believe I forgot this one earlier, but it kind of coincides with the not walking around/exploring as much as I wanted to. I feel like I was deprived of my taxi-van scoping time.

Clearly I must go back to New York. Who's coming with me?

Thought of two more things I didn't do:

• Visit the World Trade Center Memorial thing
• See a Broadway Show

Ditching the real world

Things I did on vacation:

• Had Christmas in a cup with Kellie @ Lucile's. There was also a cameo of their beignets.
• Drove around creating the perfect meal. This included: rolls, mashed potatoes, mexican salad, chicken, wine coolers.
• Watched Son In Law whilst consuming said perfect meal.
• Took ridiculous pictures at the sculpture park.
• Went on Celestial Seasonings Tour. Mint room=Intense!
• Had lovely dinner & played games with my aunt & her boyfriend.
• Ate breakfast burritos and went geocaching (after finding out that Coors wasn't giving tours this week).
• Went on Boulder Beer Company Tour then had semi-nice meal @ Mimi's with my aunt, cousin & her two kids.
• Flew to New York!!!
• Had almost front row view of Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade! Took lots of pictures.
• Josh!
• Went to swanky restaurant on the Upper West Side for Thanksgiving Day Dinner. Was delicious, but pricey (sorry Josh!).
• Strolled thru Central Park
• Went to a taping of the Today Show & got on TV!!!!
• Watched people skate at Rockfeller. Did not go as I was probably the only person in our party with reasonable balance.
• Saw the Rockettes @ Radio City Music Hall!
• Bought pickles at The Pickle Guys in the Lower East Side
• Ate pizza @ Lombardi's. I shall be yelping this place as I was dissatisfied. The pizza was good (not overly great) but there were several issues.
• Went to Ferrera's pastry shop and bought mini pastries!!! They were so cute and delicious.
• Went to Penn Station and visited Josh at Borders...am jealous of several aspects of that store, not the least of which is the employee bathroom.
• Visited Times Square and the M&M shop.
• Ate a hot dog from a vendor on the street
• Took the Staten Island Ferry & took pictures of the Statue of Liberty.
• Flew home :( fortunately on swanky Virgin America plane that lets me use the interwebs in flight so I can update my blog :)

Things I didn't do that now require another visit to NYC

• See the Empire State Building
• Get a picture of the skyline (a good one)
• Go to Ellis Island
• Spend enough time with Josh
• Go to 5th Ave.
• Take a picture in front of the NBA store (sorry Kellie!)
• Walk around/explore as much as I want (our itinerary was a little too controlled)
• Eat at more pizza places (or eat more in general)
• Go out on the town at night to fun bars and stuff.

Ugh. Last week's writing exercise, which if you remember was total crap, got a CHECK PLUS. Normally I would be excited, but the fact that I got a paltry check mark on the one I liked and a check plus on what I thought was horrible annoys me. Clearly, I am a horrible judge of my own work. This depresses me.

Writing exercise: Epistle

Thank You For Your Application

06 November

Dear Mr.——

I received your application on the 28^th of October and have spent the last 9 days reviewing all that you have written. There is no doubt that, academically, you meet the requirements, however, your personal essay portion leaves something to be desired. Despite the honest and earnest tone of the piece, it is evident that there are outstanding issues in the following areas:

1. Conflict of Interest

It became readily apparent in the second paragraph that there is an alternate demand on you. This position requires that any and all free time and though outside of (and at times including) the familial realm be committed to the position. It is expected that you show 100% loyalty and dedication at all times. Previous holders of the position have sacrificed friendships, families, careers, etc., so the immediate cessation of your association with a Ms. —— is necessary for your continued consideration for this appointment, despite her having been the one to bring you to my attention.

2. Traveling Distance/Location

In the section discussing your current living situation (which will be referenced later on), there was mention of your living in S—————, which, while still in the county, is not the ideal location for someone interested in this position. First and foremost, you will be acquiring and temporarily housing very important (and expensive) items for me. S————— is not exactly known for its safe neighborhoods, despite the current attempts to label it as a “suburb on the rise”. The position may also require that you entertain some of my associates in your home, which may pose a problem given the size and condition inferred from your essay.

Since it will be necessary for you to drive to and spend time in N———— on a regular basis, a closer locale will be beneficiary for both parties involved. There may also be instances where your immediate presence is required and a 45-60 minute drive is not ideal. An area much more acceptable for an applicant is someplace like C———, which does have some very nice condos currently available. My realtor’s name is A— B————— if you’d like a few suggestions.

3. Lack of Experience

One thing that separated you from the dozens of other applicants is your relative inexperience. While this is in some ways “fresh” and exciting (as I have always wanted to be a mentor of sorts), I find myself a bit concerned about your ability to satisfactorily live up to my high standards. I am a very busy woman, and as such, do not have too much time to devote to crafting you to my ideals, despite any latent desire to be a mentor. We may need to organize a sort of trial run, in which you prove to me that you are the quick learner your aptitude tests suggest.

In addition, I am well aware that your age is a factor in your inexperience, but I want to assure you that I have never been prone to ageism and actually quite look forward to a younger perspective on the position.

4. Current Income

While there is no formal economic requirement, it is largely understood that any applicant should be able to fully support themselves prior to and for the duration of this role. It is important not only for my reputation, but also for the stress-free environment ideal for the growth of our involvement together. Any outside source of income must, however, not present a conflict of interest, resulting in less than 100% dedication to your position in association with myself. If you need any suggestions of low-maintenace/high-income jobs, feel free to give my financial advisor E—— a call (***) ***-****.

5. Living Situation

In conjunction with both the issue of income and location, it is necessary that you live roommate free. Since you will be entertaining my associates and myself in your living environment upon occasion, it is ideal that there be no marijuana-smoking best friend or over-involved mother in the way of the success of these interactions. You will be representing me and, as such, cannot be seen to associate with such unsavory and outdated personalities.

In fulfilling the income expectation, you should be able to afford a decently furnished living space without the requirement of a roommate or benevolent relative.

The five items discussed above represent the main concerns regarding your application. It will remain “In Process” for another 7 days, during which you may take steps toward rectifying the problems addressed in this letter. If, after the 7 days, you have not contacted me with any updates on your situation the application will be considered incomplete and you may reapply when the position is reopened at a later date.

I thank you for your application for the position of my boyfriend. Feel free to contact me with any questions regarding these concerns or any other matter you feel may effect your application.

Sincerely,

R—— M—————

I would be remiss if I didn't give inspirational credit to my wife and to -------. Life gives you lemons, you make ridiculous stories cause you don't like lemonade.

We all know what it means when you assume.

Okay. I make assumptions kind of often, especially when it comes to my sister. I know I shouldn't because more often than not it backfires. But my assumptions are usually logical. Like, if I take down the trash cans on trash day she will bring them up. Apparently, she has been making assumptions as well. Only, hers make me confuzled.

Case in point:

E: Did you use my straightener?

B: Yes, is that okay?

E: No. Its kind of annoying actually.

B: Oh, uh. I'm sorry...? I didn't think it would be a big deal.

E: Well, you used to use my hair dryer and that kind of annoyed me.

B: Oh.

E: And I waited months for you to buy one but I had to go out and get one.

B: Was I supposed to buy a hairdryer?

E: No, but I assumed you would because you were complaining about not having one.

B: What? When did I complain?

E: You complained once.

B: (long disbelieving pause) And so I was supposed to buy a new one?

E: You just do a lot of things that annoy me.

I don't feel that was a justified assumption. Granted, I used her old hairdryer with frequency, but it didn't break because of over use. In fact, said hairdryer was STOLEN along with a bunch of other crap she had in her car. Therefore, its defection from our home was in no way connected to me and one complaint about its disappearance does not mean I am obligated to replace it. Absurd, I say. Absurd.

Not too mention, I'm pretty she does more to annoy me than I her.

That is all.

Because I still have the bullet point option

• Spent yesterday evening with my friend Claire. We were supposed to see a taping of Jimmy Kimmel with Dominic Monaghan as the guest. Got there too late so we headed towards Westwood for some delicious Enzo's Pizza. *drool* it was so good and I was starving. After that we headed to 3rd Street for Crepes which were equally awesome. It was fun eating good food and catching up. Then I found out I left my lights on (which I totally don't remember using in the first place) and killed the battery. Managed to figure out how to jump it with Claire's car.
• Got up at 6am to do my homework. Will not be posting it as it is totally crap.
• Got to work at 8 and found out they decided yesterday that they wanted to put some stuff on sale today. After printing and putting up signs I commenced the finishing touches for my visit. They showed up earlier than projected but it went well overall. He said he thought the shop was great. When we got upstairs to check out Holiday Lane he furiously tore down the signs on the boxed holiday card fixture and went on a rant about how they were too high because the average customer was my height. I refrained from pointing out that I do know how to look up. Whatevs. He hated where Holiday Lane was (as do we all) and told me to pull stuff as soon as the C-tables sell down.
• I went to class where I spent the better part of an hour and fifteen minutes passing notes with my friend August, wherein we judged people in our class. Turned in my crappy assignment.
• Went back to work for another 3 hours. Totally didn't want to, but I get paid so I guess its all good.

Writing exercise: Dialogue

Because I did my homework this week, you get a treat...well maybe. We'll find out after you read it.

Visiting Hours

“What, no flowers for me?”

“I don’t have time for this. Why did you call me?”

“Oh we’ll get to it. Franklin, darlin’ can you just close that door for me so Tom and I can have a li’l privacy. That’s a dear.”

“You’ve got everyone wrapped around that finger of yours, don’t you?”

“Oh, I wouldn’t presume-”

“Wouldn’t you?”

“Really, Tom, take a seat. Can’t we be civil?”

“No.”

“There, that’s more comfortable, isn’t it? No reason we can’t share some simple conversation. How’s the family?”

“Is this why you called me over here? Because you’re bored and can’t receive callers anymore?”

“Heavens, Tom. There’s no call to be rude. I was just making polite conversation. My mother was the queen of polite conversation, did you know that, Tom? At my age—by the way I’ll be twenty-six on Friday and expect a cake—she could stop a brawl with her sweet voice. ‘Course, like as not, my daddy probably started the fight in the first place. I wish I coulda known her better, but she went missing when I was seven. Did you have a nice childhood, Tom?”

“Cut the crap. We both know there is a reason you called me here, whether or not its what you mentioned on the telephone.”

“How’s the family, Tom?”

“Fine, we’ll do it your way. The family is fine. Except for the wife, of course, since she’s mad as hell that you somehow got our home number.”

“I’m sorry about that, Tom, but your office won’t take my calls anymore. That secretary of yours is real unaccommodating. You should really consider getting rid of her.”

“I think I’ll give her a raise. Unless I find out she’s the one who gave you my home number.”

“Oh, she’s not. Don’t you remember Missy Trelaine?”

“From the market on 16^th?”

“That’s the one! Well, she’s real good friends with Kelly Ann, who, if you recall, is practically a sister to my third cousin Jessie. It was simple enough to call Aunt Helen, who put in a call to her sister, Esther, who, of course, is Jessie’s-”

“I see where this is going. Have you ever heard of invasion of privacy?”

“Well, yes, but I wasn’t invadin’ nobody.”

“My wife begs to differ. I beg to differ. Can we get on with it?”

“I do like your wife, Tom. You made an excellent choice. Some people just marry cause they want to be married and don’t even think about whether or not they’re suitable. Sometimes they don’t even think about whether or not the other person even wants to be married.”

“Can we get to the point of me being here?”
“So hasty!”

“Well, Maryanne, you called me in the middle of dinner saying it was imperative that I come over here right away. You said you were ready to talk. So talk!”

“I have been. Weren’t you listening?”

“All I’ve heard is your usual babble. Now I came down here to hear your side of the story, but if this was just a trick for some company then I’m gonna have to leave.”

“It wasn’t a trick, Tom.”

“Then why am I here? What have you got to say?”

“The truth.”

“And what truth is that, Maryanne?”
“It was self defense.”

“Self defense! The man was napping in his chair! What on earth could you have been defending yourself against? This is ridiculous, Maryanne. I can’t believe you brought me down here for this bull.”

“No, don’t leave-”

“The charges stay at Murder One. I suggest you cut the crap and find a lawyer.”

“It was self defense! It was! Only, it was years too late.”

“What insanity are you talking now, Maryanne?”

“Did you have a nice childhood, Tom?”

I so didn't want to go to class tonight. I'm still recovering from the awesome weekend and work is stressing me out. The last thing I wanted to do was spend 3 hours discussing a book I didn't read and failing a quiz on said novel. Also I was terrified to find out what I got on that horrible paper I turned in two weeks ago.

The following are reasons why I am glad I did go:

• There was no quiz!!!! I don't know why and I am not going to ask.
• My teacher spent the first 15 minutes of class talking about how not funny Dane Cook is. While I do enjoy his comedy, it was pretty amusing listening to my teacher break down exactly why he thinks Dane Cook is a post-structuralist comic.
• We read "The Awakening" and it's set in a Creole society. Thus, all the names are French. My teacher obsessively corrected everyone's pronunciation of the name Robert, making sure that it was always said like "row-bear". Which, of course, made me think of Robot.
• There is this girl who sits to my right and she is ugly. I have this strange fascination with her face. If she is talking I literally cannot look away. Today I discovered that I unconsciously make ugly faces while I do this. Oops!
• This same girl also said "because of the times" at least 3 times with every comment she made. I don't know why, but it was highly amusing to me. I'm pretty sure she didn't realize exactly how many times she said it (38).
• While talking about how the character Edna essentially abandons her children, my teacher yells out "I ABANDONED MY CHILD!!!" in perfect Daniel Day Lewis impersonation.
• And last, but definitely not least, I GOT A FRAKING B ON MY PAPER!!! Woot Woot! That thing was such a piece of shit. I think I sat there in shock for a full on ten minutes.

Best. Weekend. Ever.

Why on earth would you take a vacation that involved sailing anywhere near Somalia?!!!

Stupid people

Thursday Resolution

Be upbeat and nice to people (i.e. be Bonnie from like 6 years ago).

Maybe these photos will help...

Things I did today

• Put a book on hold at Barnes & Noble and didn't pick it up.
• Ran into Miguel on the way to school for the first time even though he's been parking in my driveway since the end of August. :)
• Went to an enjoyable class session, but it did end with a paltry checkmark on the one writing assignment I really enjoyed creating. I think it was the rhyming that killed it for him :(
• Went to work and unpacked 1,000 boxes of PC crap
• Spent my break purchasing 32 oz. of fake blood, 25 feet of plastic sheeting, and green hair spray.
• Spent another 4 hours unpacking boxes of PC crap
• Went home.

Sure wish we had this in-store so I could use the 40% off coupon. Lame.

Flaws

I don't really like people with strong opinions. I think I fear that they have a greater chance of becoming zealous, and that freaks me out. Also, I hate when people refuse to change their opinions because they think it is a good trait to stick to your convictions. What if something happens in your life, or someone says something to you, and it just completely changes things? I totally have known people that ignore such epiphanies and remain dead set on their original opinion. Its annoying.

I think this is why I generally am uncomfortable around people who are: feminists, religious, political, activists, ethnocentric, prejudiced and sexist. I, myself, have prejudices, but they actually are pretty specific and based on personal experience. Plus, I am inclined to make exceptions once I've interacted with the person.

Writing exercise: Miniature/Vignette

Disturbed

The whole town hid, eyes glued to their screens; windows shut tightly to block out the screams. The signal failed and left them in fear, as they pondered what creature it was they could hear. Was it man or beast or unearthly being? Whose shadow was it that they were seeing?

Their questions remained three whole days in their heads, while they huddled and whispered prayers in their beds. When finally the fourth day brought silent relief, they ventured to learn the cause of such grief. And with shock each person did find, these horrors existed just in their mind.

!!!!

writing exercise: Endless Openings

I don't know. I'm not too sure if I like this one. It was kind of rushed and I feel like I didn't really do justice to the exercise.

A Love Story

It was a simple story, really—a love story. She was a princess, he a prince. They met through fate in a glen, where both ran to the rescue of a baby squirrel being terrorized by a large wolf. It was love at first sight and also decided that they would be married in the morning. The princess’s father, the king, heartily approved of the match and all in the land rejoiced in the union. And they lived happily ever after.

Or, it was a simple story, but life, as always, had other plans. She was a princess, yes, but her father wasn’t any old king. He was king of the south side—a crime lord, if you didn’t get the hint. The boy also remained a prince, but his monthly allowance was dwindling rapidly and he needed an influx of funds fast. Hence, his attempts to “accidentally” encounter the princess.

When they did meet it was quite by accident. He wasn’t expecting to find himself hauled to the abandoned railroad tracks at 1am and staring up at a loaded 9 mm. He also didn’t expect to hear her voice at the last second, saving his life. Kind by nature, the princess couldn’t bear knowing that her father had someone killed to protect her. In fact, to her, his willingness to die in order to meet her was romantic.

Or, simply put, it was a love story. She was a princess to all those people who watched her face light up the big screen. He was prince in much the same way. They’re meeting was arranged by fate, also known as their agents, and news of their impending nuptials hit the tabloids the very next day. Two days later the couple had their first date, sipping champagne on a romantic picnic in Central Park. The rags documented every moment of the whirlwind romance, particularly those days when he would show up on the set of her latest film reeking of whiskey. They similarly made sure to report about her rabid jealousy over his relationships with his costars.

They did manage to miss completely her affair with the producer of his new movie, a man known as the king of comedy. Our prince, of course, did not take kindly to the infidelity, but the fans loved him more as part of the perfect couple.

Or, it was a love story, simply motivated by politics. He was a prince, who wanted to be king, but first he needed a princess with the keys to the kingdom. She was a princess with powerful connections and deep pockets. It also didn’t hurt that she looked excellent in sweater sets and pearls. Her heart’s only desire was to marry and continue to look excellent in sweater sets and pearls.

They met at a garden party for the soon-to-be-retired king, both assessing the potential of the other from across the lawn. When they were eventually introduced by a mutual acquaintance only one word crossed their minds—perfect.

The match was made that very day and the contract between them finalized only a few short months later. The princess, her marriage now attained, and the prince, already laying down the money trail, took their first step towards the kingdom.

Beware the Blasphemy! (First full story of the semester. And, no, that's not the title)

Buried

Fr: Ari

-------------------------------

crew building the

temple found a buried

building!

-------------------------------

7:36pm Thu, Apr 1

CB#: Ari

Fr: Elijah

--------------------------------

i heard. prolly just another

old shack. don’t forget my

book 2morow.

--------------------------------

7:39 Thu, Apr 1

CB#: Elijah

Fr: Ari

-------------------------------

haha ur prolly right. ppl

hardly ever find anything

in Jerusalem anymore

--------------------------------

7:43 Thu, Apr 1

CB#: Ari

† † †

From: Maria M Evangelista <m.evang1@ju.edu>

Date: Fri, Apr 30, 2990 at 2:52 PM

Subject: Issues in Israel

To: Sara Daniels <s.daniels.3@nyu.edu>

Omg! Can you believe all of this would happen while I’m here studying abroad? It’s so awesome. You would never believe how insane it is over here. Everyone is speculating on who it is, but all my Jewish friends remain pretty uninterested in the whole thing. Probably because it was the Vatican that found it. I don’t care who found it, I just find the whole thing incredibly interesting (especially because it’s the result of someone actually daring to go against the church). See what we miss out on when people are sheep?

Sorry, didn’t mean to get preachy on ya. Just wanted to drop you a line cause this all made me miss our debates. Hope you’re doing well up in the Big Apple.

Ciao!

-M

From: Sara Daniels <s.daniels.3@nyu.edu>

Date: Fri, Apr 30, 2990 at 6:33 PM

Subject: Re: Issues in Israel

To: Maria M Evangelista <m.evang1@ju.edu>

I am soooooooo jealous right now! I hate you almost as much as I miss you. All the Jewish people here (which, you know is like everyone) are intensely interested in the goings on over there. I guess if you’ve been living near the Holy City for so long you just kind of become immune to “discoveries”. Wasn’t the last major find the body of a goat or something? Anyway, all of us keep coming up with theories as to the identity. Paulo, our resident atheist, is convinced its Jesus :-P

Speaking of theory, I gotta hit the books for my big test. Hopefully we’ll find out the truth soon.

Much love! (and equal amounts of jealousy)

-S

P.S. I miss your rants about the Catholic Church and it’s “lies”. Now I have nothing to do between classes. :)

“Time heals old pain, while it creates new ones.”

From: Maria M Evangelista <m.evang1@ju.edu>

Date: Sun, May 15, 2990 at 3:33 PM

Subject: O.M.G. indeed

To: Sara Daniels <s.daniels.3@nyu.edu>

You are hereby sworn to secrecy.

My friend Jayel works for one of the linguists examining the wall (basically he just fetches water and shit) and has seen what it says.

I’ve attached two photos he managed to take with his phone. The first is a picture of a picture of the wall and the second is the tentative translation.

Crazy sauce, man.

-M

_____________________________________________________________________

2 attachments — Download all attachments View all images

1.jpg

53K View Download

2.jpg

51K View Download

† † †

callmeJ RT @masterbuilder: Construction crew unburies #bodyofchrist in Israel?!

10:37 AM May 22^nd from web

thomasdl @callmeJ Are you shitting me? Has it been confirmed? I thought the carbon dating took awhile?

12:16 PM May 22^nd from TwitterBerry in reply to callmeJ

callmeJ @thomasdl No official confirmation, but did you read what the message said?

3:16 PM May 22^nd from web in reply to @thomasdl

† † †

For Christ’s sake!

Everyone has been up in arms about this whole Jesus fiasco. Every television station has a live feed to Israel. But how can we really know anything? We can carbon date the shit out of that body but whose to say its not some poor guy who was just chillin’ in Jerusalem who spent everyday of his life working hard to feed his children? And now the dude can’t get any peace in death.

I say, if they date it around the time of Jesus then its time to stop focusing on the how and take a gander at the why. Who cares how his body got there? A better question is: why did we find it now? I mean, we’ve been actively looking for how long for signs of his existence? So why now, when we’ve decided to simply accept and honor him (with a giant building of course), did we find proof that he lived and died? We believe that we rise and go to heaven, right? And yet, we remain buried and wept over. Why can’t Jesus?

Text posted at 11:53 PM | Permalink

† † †

Angelica Gomez is conflicted about finding Jesus

03 Jun at 19:22 Comment - Like - See Wall—to—Wall

You and 4 other people like this

View all 11 comments

Luz Perkins They still haven’t completed analysis of the body

and the debate over the message continues.

03 Jun at 21:30

Christian Ramirez Aren’t we all?

03 Jun at 21:46

† † †

Confirmation: Laborers find Jesus

By David Lapid

Published: July 4, 2990

ISRAEL — Early morning on Thursday, April 1^st, a construction crew outside of Jerusalem stumbled upon what is definitely the greatest find of the century, if not ever—the body of Christ. The crew was hired to tear down several small structures, most recently used as a shelter for the homeless and a small market, to the Northeast of the Catholic cemetery by the Mount of Olives. Once demolition was completed several other crews were to join them and begin the construction of an elaborate temple-like structure dedicated to the life and works of Jesus Christ. The project was to be completed in time for the celebration of 3,000 years since his death.

This, at least, was the Vatican’s plan until its demolition crew discovered an anomaly in the Northern most structure’s foundation. Assuming that the raised portions of the earth might indicate the location of a buried building, the foreman contacted Vatican representatives to suggest that the demolition be halted and an archeologist be called in to investigate. International law would also require that the Israeli government be notified and consulted. Reports suggest that the Vatican, concerned that the find might impede the already delayed project, told the company to simply “fill in the gaps” and begin laying down the foundation for the new structure.

Eli Gottesdiener, the foreman on the project, decided instead to investigate a little. “I told my crew that my superiors decided we should continue with the foundation, but none of us liked the idea of leaving something like that hidden,” Gottesdiener told the press in a conference on Thursday, “We decided instead to carefully investigate the area. I called my friend Hasim to oversee. It was clear right away that it was a structure. It looked small, like one room. I knew I had to call [the Vatican] again.” Gottesdiener did make the call and this time Vatican representatives were forced to postpone the project because of international diplomacy.

Early on in the project’s history, they had faced several problems with the acquisition of the land. Israel, still a largely Hebrew nation, eventually agreed to sell the land to the Catholic Church for an exorbitant $23 billion. The purchase caused a uproar in the Catholic community, as it became apparent that the community at large had been unaware of such a wealth within the Church.

Hoping to avoid another incident within the Church and anxious to continue the project, representatives from the Vatican traveled to Jerusalem immediately to investigate. Hasim Lempel, Gottesdiener’s friend and head of the Archeology department at Jerusalem University, confirmed to the representatives that their construction site was now an archeological one.

The structure was, as Gottesdiener said, a small one, consisting of two rooms. When initially revealed, Lempel assumed it was a house for the outcast, given its size and distance from any other structural finds. Further excavation revealed, however, a third, sealed room wherein they discovered a nicely preserved human corpse.

“It was immediately clear that we found a body,” Lempel said. “It was actually quite shocking how well it was preserved.” The discovery of a body made it clear that they had stumbled upon a tomb. The body was immediately sent to the JU lab for analysis and preservation, while the team of archeologists now on site, continued to examine the structure.

No other bodies were discovered, but carved into the walls of the third room, Hasim and his team found writings etched around the space that the body had occupied. They appeared to be written in Ancient Aramaic: the language of Jesus. Examiners of the writing confirmed the language and revealed that it appears to say, “He stands as the right hand of the father and lives”. There is debate, however, among those that have seen the wall that this is not the complete message and that the last portion was too damaged over the years to interpret.

Analysis of the body confirmed that it would’ve been buried around the time of Jesus’ death. This information combined with the message written above the body has Christians across the globe in an uproar, as they try to reconcile the spiritual implications of the physical existence of their savior.

“As a Christian you experience the whole spectrum of emotion,” says Mary Somers in Los Angeles, California, “One minute you’re ecstatic, because here is proof that you believe in someone real. Then the next, you realize that if his body is in Jerusalem, then how can he have risen from the dead? What does this mean about the Bible? They’ve opened up a whole new Pandora’s box over there.”

And what does the Pope have to offer his community in crisis? The Vatican declined to comment.

† † †

From: Paulo Bautista <p.bautista.7@nyu.edu>

Date: Mon, Jul 4, 2990 at 3:33 PM

Subject: Finding Jesus

To: All

I called it!

-Paulo

"Question with boldness even the existence of God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason than that of blindfolded fear." - Thomas Jefferson

Writing exercise: Chronicle

Chronicle: write a 250-500 word story based on or modeled after a newspaper account. The narrative should follow the inverted pyramid structure of a news report, with an eye-catching headline, a strong top-heavy lead, and odd details falling to the bottom of the piece. Aim for an intentional confusion of fact and fiction in content while adhering to the structure of an essay.

Confirmation: Laborers find Jesus

By David Lapid

Published: July 4, 2990

ISRAEL — Early Thursday morning on April 1^st, a construction crew outside of Jerusalem stumbled upon what is definitely the greatest find of the century, if not ever—the body of Christ. The crew was hired to tear down several small structures, most recently used as a shelter for the homeless and a small market, to the Northeast of the Catholic cemetery by the Mount of Olives. Once demolition was complete several other crews would join them and begin the construction of an elaborate temple-like structure dedicated to the life and works of Jesus himself, to be completed in time for the celebration of 3,000 years since his death.

This, at least, was the Vatican’s plan until its demolition crew discovered an anomaly in the Northern most structure’s foundation. Assuming that the raised portions of the earth might indicate the location of a buried building, the foreman contacted Vatican representatives to suggest that the demolition be halted and an archeologist be called in to investigate. International law also would require that the Israeli government be notified and consulted. Reports suggest that the Vatican, concerned that the find might impede the already delayed project, told the company to simply “fill in the gaps” and begin laying down the foundation for the new structure.

Eli Gottesdiener, the foreman on the project, decided instead to investigate a little. “I told my crew that my superiors decided we should continue with the foundation, but none of us liked the idea of leaving something like that hidden,” Gottesdiener told the press in a conference on Thursday, “We decided instead to carefully investigate the area. I called my friend Hasim to oversee. It was clear right away that it was a structure. It looked small, like one room. I knew I had to call [the Vatican] again.” Gottesdiener did make the call again and this time Vatican representatives were forced to postpone the project because of international diplomacy.

Early on in the project’s history, they faced several problems with the acquisition of the land. Israel, however, eventually agreed to sell the land to the Catholic Church for an exorbitant $8.3 billion. The purchase caused an uproar in the Catholic community, as it became apparent that the Vatican simply wasn’t sharing the wealth.

Hoping to avoid another incident within the Church, representatives from the Vatican traveled to Jerusalem immediately to investigate. Hasim Lempel, Gottesdiener’s friend and head of the Archeology department at Jerusalem University, confirmed to the representatives that their construction site was now an archeological one.

The structure was, as Gottesdiener said, a small one, consisting of two rooms. When initially revealed, Lempel assumed it was a house for the outcast, given its size and distance from any other structural finds. Further excavation revealed, however, a third, sealed room wherein they discovered a nicely preserved human corpse.

“It was immediately clear that we found a body,” Lempel said. “It was actually quite shocking how well it was preserved.” The discovery of a body made it clear that they had stumbled upon a tomb. The body was immediately sent to the JU lab for analysis and preservation, while the team of archeologists now on site, continued to examine the structure.

No other bodies were discovered, however, carved into the walls of the third room, Hasim and his team found writings etched around the space that the body had occupied. They appeared to be written in Ancient Aramaic: the language of Jesus. Examiners of the writing confirmed the language and revealed that it appears to say, “He stands as the right hand of the father and lives”. There is debate, however, among those that have seen the wall that this is not the complete message and that the last portion was too damaged over the years to interpret.

Analysis of the body confirmed that it would’ve been buried around the time of Jesus’ death. This information combined with the message written above the body has Christians across the globe in an uproar, as they try to reconcile the spiritual implications of the physical existence of their savior.

“As a Christian you experience the whole spectrum of emotion,” says Mary Somers in Los Angeles, CA, “One minute you’re ecstatic, because here is proof that you believe in someone real. Then the next, you realize that if his body is in Jerusalem, then how can he have risen from the dead? What does this mean about the Bible? They’ve opened up a whole new Pandora’s box over there.”

And what does the Pope have to offer his community in chaos? The Vatican declined to comment.

Bright Star was an excellent film. You should go see it. But you may need to bring some tissues.

I was snacking on some almonds as I waited for my lunch break and, for some reason, the thought that I am eating baby trees popped into my head and made me sad.

Why don't I give a shit when I eat baby chickens?

Derek Fisher: Some, not all, of that. And definitely no chips.

I was unimpressed with Derek Fisher. I don't think I've ever been there when a celeb refused to sign things for the staff. He didn't seem to want to be there. No eye contact with anyone, no memorabilia, no pictures, last minute (literally) decision to personalize and immediately on his cell phone and rushed out the door afterward.

My favorite part of this whole evening was a conversation I had with this one lady...

Since I decided to be a bookseller and help out with the event I was frequently approached by customers who needed help locating things. One middle-aged lady asked if I could help her find a diet book. As we made our way to an unoccupied computer we started chatting and were having a good time discussing all the insanity. Once we reached InfoB the following exchange occurred:

Customer: I guess I came on the wrong day. I didn't go yesterday cause Wednesdays are crap with Farmer's Market, but I figured today would be fine. What's going on?

Me: Oh, we're having a book signing.

Customer: Oh, so is that brown guy really here?

GIANT PAUSE BECAUSE HOW DO YOU RESPOND TO THAT?!

Me: Uh, yeah, Derek Fisher is here.

Customer: Oh! I thought you were having Dan Brown here cause I saw all the signs.

Me: (feeling both relieved and like an asshole for assuming she was racist) Oh! Oh, no. We just started selling his book the other day and are promoting it.


Anyway, the memory of that conversation totally got me through the night.

writing exercise: enumeration

This is a result of a two hour conversation with someone who writes horror and an evening meal at Denny's.

“The Late Night Menu”

I’m a creature of the night. Most days I don’t even appear until the sun has said farewell to the skies. If I was one of those people who collected friends, they’d give a short chuckle and say “Oh, that’s just -------- for you.” But my collection is far more interesting and I don’t do relationships. I’m more like a meal Denny’s: always available to satisfy your hunger, but you’ll usually regret indulging yourself later. I’m not those well-known classics either like Moons over my Hammy or a Grand Slam. No, I’m the Late Night Menu.

1. The Club Sandwich

Thinly sliced turkey breast, crisp bacon, lettuce, tomato and mayonnaise on toasted white bread.

He was actually my first. Most people assume I got my start early in life, but in truth I was a late bloomer. Since all of my education took place at home there wasn’t really much opportunity to mingle with the masses. I mostly kept to myself up until the death of my parents. That is a particularly interesting murder, involving painstakingly hollowed out severed limbs left in the vestibule of a church. Still unsolved, by the way, if you’re looking for a new cold case to obsess over. But I digress. My first time was kind of a cliché because it did take place in a seedy motel room off of the interstate. I met him in what the manager liked to call a lobby, but what was really a small room with five and a half chairs scattered around and one three-legged table piled high with old National Geographics. The décor of the whole room just screamed Yard Sale.

Anyway, I was reading over an article about the role of witchcraft in cannibalistic societies when I overheard a man complaining to the manager that the lights in his room wouldn’t turn on. The manager told him that the electricity should be working fine to which this stranger replied that, indeed, everything electrical except the lights was functioning properly. I think it was the way he spoke that drew me to him: extremely “proper” English spoken in a crisp and eloquent manner. It transformed this shabby little room into the foyer of an upscale country club. The way he looked only added to the illusion: tall and lean with clean white skin and blond hair smooth against his skull, all wrapped up in a impeccably tailored pair of tan trousers and dark blue sport coat.

Once he realized that any conversation with the manager was bound to end in confusion he wandered over to the table and inquired about the lighting in my own room. I told him it didn’t matter whether my lights worked since I wouldn’t be using them. He seemed intrigued by the comfort I found in darkness and ended up joining me on my hike to see a wild flower that only blooms at night. The original intent of my visit, you see. It was strange at first, having someone with me in the darkness. The flower became inconsequential after I noticed the way the moon kissed his body: starting with a streak through each strand of his hair. His skin, softly illuminated, was simply fascinating. How could I resist?

I was sloppy that first time. Didn’t enjoy it nearly as much as I thought I would. I’ve gotten a lot better at looking at all the ingredients first before I choose an entrée now. Frankly, that first time was simply too bland. He was an excellent conversationalist, though. I almost regret it.

2. The Double Cheeseburger

Two beef patties and four slices of American cheese. Served with lettuce, tomato, pickles and red onions.

This was one of my favorite nights. Normally I have some sort of plan for the evening, but I woke up at dusk feeling antsy. I turned on some music, hoping that if I got the blood flowing, the sensation would cease. But it didn’t. If anything, the uncomfortable feeling intensified and I couldn’t help but think that there was somewhere else I should be. Deciding to embrace the discomfort, I quickly dressed and exited into the evening. The deepening shadows offered some relief as I followed my feet to our destination. I didn’t even know the place existed. I only walked about two miles and there it was, the word -------- written in neon lights was the only indication that there was an establishment within the small rundown building. As soon as I walked in I was welcomed by a lingering cloud of cigarette smoke and suspicious looks from a few people at the bar. I only vaguely noticed the two soldiers when I took an empty stool next to them.

It was embarrassingly easy to entice them home with me. Almost no struggle at all. The more responsible of the two mentioned an early deployment in the morning, but the other convinced him to stay. They were two particularly tasty looking pieces of meat. Both were thick, but in a bulk muscle way. They probably could’ve easily thrown me across the room if they were given the chance. From their accents I gathered their recruitment took place somewhere more midwesterly than our “big city”. All American boys, fresh from the farm. I took it nice and slow that night, often stopping to run my hands down their flesh. It was particularly pleasing to feel the raised veins after I tied them up. Smooth skin, warm from the rush of blood as they try to escape the bonds. Yeah, that was an excellent night. I don’t think they ever did find the bodies.

3. The Spicy Buffalo Chicken Melt

A golden-fried chicken breast tossed in a spicy Buffalo sauce with lettuce and tomato, topped with melted Swiss cheese. Placed on grilled ciabatta bread with a zesty garlic spread.

Mmm, this is my best one yet. It happened when I was in Europe…

To the asshole who decided to throw a half-consumed plastic bottle of Dr. Pepper at me from the 2nd story at the Bridge expecting an explosion of DP on my person:

Fail.

Its only going to work if its completely full.

Go back to school and learn something.

I can't wait to see this movie. It looks like my kind of film.


Bright Star
by John Keats

Bright star! would I were steadfast as thou art--
Not in lone splendour hung aloft the night,
And watching, with eternal lids apart,
Like Nature's patient sleepless Eremite,
The moving waters at their priestlike task
Of pure ablution round earth's human shores,
Or gazing on the new soft fallen mask
Of snow upon the mountains and the moors--
No--yet still steadfast, still unchangeable,
Pillow'd upon my fair love's ripening breast,
To feel for ever its soft fall and swell,
Awake for ever in a sweet unrest,
Still, still to hear her tender-taken breath,
And so live ever--or else swoon to death.

okay, I'll give you that

After reading excerpts from the Bible for my writing exercise, I have to admit that lyrically, it is an excellent piece of prose.

Here we go again...writing exercise 1

Collage: cut up pieces of prose rearranged to generate a new narrative.

“Judgment”
Before that sudden journey no one is wiser in thought than he needs to be, in considering, before his departure, what will be adjudged to his soul, of good or evil, after his death-day.

I stayed in the bathroom for about an hour, taking a bath and all. Then I got back in bed. It took me quite a while to get to sleep-I wasn’t even tired-but finally I did. What I really felt like, though, was committing suicide. I felt like jumping out the window. I probably would’ve done it, too, if I’d been sure somebody’d cover me up as soon as I landed. I didn’t want a bunch of stupid rubbernecks looking at me when I was all gory.

Mr. St. John came but once: he looked at me, and said my state of lethargy was a result of reaction from excessive and protracted fatigue. He pronounced it needless to send for a doctor: nature, he was sure, would manage best, left to herself.

I looked when He opened the sixth seal, and behold, there was a great earthquake; and the sun became black as sackcloth of hair, and the moon became like blood. And the stars of heaven fell to the earth, as a fig tree drops its late figs when it is shaken by a mighty wind. Then the sky receded as a scroll when it is rolled up, and every mountain and island was moved out of its place.

I think he definitely strides between hero and villain…Someone who arrives at your door, proclaims himself a god and then smashes your planet is not exactly your best friend. But the real question here is why? Has he gone off the deep end or is he working towards something?





Sources
Alexander, Michael. The Earliest English Poems. Penguin Group, NY. 1991. p7.
Beard, Jim. “Son of Hulk: Here There Be Giants”. Marvel.com News. September 3, 2009
Bronte, Charlotte. Jane Eyre. New American Library, NY. 1997. p345.
Salinger, J.D.. The Catcher in the Rye. Little, Brown and Co., Boston. 1991. p104.
The Holy Bible NKJV Revelations 6:12-14

Creepy!

I totally want to see this.