Sunday, November 29, 2009

thought of another one

I DIDN'T GET ON CASH CAB!!!!

I can't believe I forgot this one earlier, but it kind of coincides with the not walking around/exploring as much as I wanted to. I feel like I was deprived of my taxi-van scoping time.

Clearly I must go back to New York. Who's coming with me?
Thought of two more things I didn't do:
  • Visit the World Trade Center Memorial thing
  • See a Broadway Show

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Ditching the real world

Things I did on vacation:
  • Had Christmas in a cup with Kellie @ Lucile's. There was also a cameo of their beignets.
  • Drove around creating the perfect meal. This included: rolls, mashed potatoes, mexican salad, chicken, wine coolers.
  • Watched Son In Law whilst consuming said perfect meal.
  • Took ridiculous pictures at the sculpture park.
  • Went on Celestial Seasonings Tour. Mint room=Intense!
  • Had lovely dinner & played games with my aunt & her boyfriend.
  • Ate breakfast burritos and went geocaching (after finding out that Coors wasn't giving tours this week).
  • Went on Boulder Beer Company Tour then had semi-nice meal @ Mimi's with my aunt, cousin & her two kids.
  • Flew to New York!!!
  • Had almost front row view of Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade! Took lots of pictures.
  • Josh!
  • Went to swanky restaurant on the Upper West Side for Thanksgiving Day Dinner. Was delicious, but pricey (sorry Josh!).
  • Strolled thru Central Park
  • Went to a taping of the Today Show & got on TV!!!!
  • Watched people skate at Rockfeller. Did not go as I was probably the only person in our party with reasonable balance.
  • Saw the Rockettes @ Radio City Music Hall!
  • Bought pickles at The Pickle Guys in the Lower East Side
  • Ate pizza @ Lombardi's. I shall be yelping this place as I was dissatisfied. The pizza was good (not overly great) but there were several issues.
  • Went to Ferrera's pastry shop and bought mini pastries!!! They were so cute and delicious.
  • Went to Penn Station and visited Josh at Borders...am jealous of several aspects of that store, not the least of which is the employee bathroom.
  • Visited Times Square and the M&M shop.
  • Ate a hot dog from a vendor on the street
  • Took the Staten Island Ferry & took pictures of the Statue of Liberty.
  • Flew home :( fortunately on swanky Virgin America plane that lets me use the interwebs in flight so I can update my blog :)
Things I didn't do that now require another visit to NYC
  • See the Empire State Building
  • Get a picture of the skyline (a good one)
  • Go to Ellis Island
  • Spend enough time with Josh
  • Go to 5th Ave.
  • Take a picture in front of the NBA store (sorry Kellie!)
  • Walk around/explore as much as I want (our itinerary was a little too controlled)
  • Eat at more pizza places (or eat more in general)
  • Go out on the town at night to fun bars and stuff.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Ugh. Last week's writing exercise, which if you remember was total crap, got a CHECK PLUS. Normally I would be excited, but the fact that I got a paltry check mark on the one I liked and a check plus on what I thought was horrible annoys me. Clearly, I am a horrible judge of my own work. This depresses me.

Writing exercise: Epistle


Thank You For Your Application

06 November

Dear Mr.——

I received your application on the 28th of October and have spent the last 9 days reviewing all that you have written. There is no doubt that, academically, you meet the requirements, however, your personal essay portion leaves something to be desired. Despite the honest and earnest tone of the piece, it is evident that there are outstanding issues in the following areas:

1. Conflict of Interest

It became readily apparent in the second paragraph that there is an alternate demand on you. This position requires that any and all free time and though outside of (and at times including) the familial realm be committed to the position. It is expected that you show 100% loyalty and dedication at all times. Previous holders of the position have sacrificed friendships, families, careers, etc., so the immediate cessation of your association with a Ms. —— is necessary for your continued consideration for this appointment, despite her having been the one to bring you to my attention.

2. Traveling Distance/Location

In the section discussing your current living situation (which will be referenced later on), there was mention of your living in S—————, which, while still in the county, is not the ideal location for someone interested in this position. First and foremost, you will be acquiring and temporarily housing very important (and expensive) items for me. S————— is not exactly known for its safe neighborhoods, despite the current attempts to label it as a “suburb on the rise”. The position may also require that you entertain some of my associates in your home, which may pose a problem given the size and condition inferred from your essay.

Since it will be necessary for you to drive to and spend time in N———— on a regular basis, a closer locale will be beneficiary for both parties involved. There may also be instances where your immediate presence is required and a 45-60 minute drive is not ideal. An area much more acceptable for an applicant is someplace like C———, which does have some very nice condos currently available. My realtor’s name is A— B————— if you’d like a few suggestions.

3. Lack of Experience

One thing that separated you from the dozens of other applicants is your relative inexperience. While this is in some ways “fresh” and exciting (as I have always wanted to be a mentor of sorts), I find myself a bit concerned about your ability to satisfactorily live up to my high standards. I am a very busy woman, and as such, do not have too much time to devote to crafting you to my ideals, despite any latent desire to be a mentor. We may need to organize a sort of trial run, in which you prove to me that you are the quick learner your aptitude tests suggest.

In addition, I am well aware that your age is a factor in your inexperience, but I want to assure you that I have never been prone to ageism and actually quite look forward to a younger perspective on the position.

4. Current Income

While there is no formal economic requirement, it is largely understood that any applicant should be able to fully support themselves prior to and for the duration of this role. It is important not only for my reputation, but also for the stress-free environment ideal for the growth of our involvement together. Any outside source of income must, however, not present a conflict of interest, resulting in less than 100% dedication to your position in association with myself. If you need any suggestions of low-maintenace/high-income jobs, feel free to give my financial advisor E—— a call (***) ***-****.

5. Living Situation

In conjunction with both the issue of income and location, it is necessary that you live roommate free. Since you will be entertaining my associates and myself in your living environment upon occasion, it is ideal that there be no marijuana-smoking best friend or over-involved mother in the way of the success of these interactions. You will be representing me and, as such, cannot be seen to associate with such unsavory and outdated personalities.

In fulfilling the income expectation, you should be able to afford a decently furnished living space without the requirement of a roommate or benevolent relative.

The five items discussed above represent the main concerns regarding your application. It will remain “In Process” for another 7 days, during which you may take steps toward rectifying the problems addressed in this letter. If, after the 7 days, you have not contacted me with any updates on your situation the application will be considered incomplete and you may reapply when the position is reopened at a later date.

I thank you for your application for the position of my boyfriend. Feel free to contact me with any questions regarding these concerns or any other matter you feel may effect your application.

Sincerely,

R—— M—————



I would be remiss if I didn't give inspirational credit to my wife and to -------. Life gives you lemons, you make ridiculous stories cause you don't like lemonade.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

We all know what it means when you assume.

Okay. I make assumptions kind of often, especially when it comes to my sister. I know I shouldn't because more often than not it backfires. But my assumptions are usually logical. Like, if I take down the trash cans on trash day she will bring them up. Apparently, she has been making assumptions as well. Only, hers make me confuzled.

Case in point:

E: Did you use my straightener?
B: Yes, is that okay?
E: No. Its kind of annoying actually.
B: Oh, uh. I'm sorry...? I didn't think it would be a big deal.
E: Well, you used to use my hair dryer and that kind of annoyed me.
B: Oh.
E: And I waited months for you to buy one but I had to go out and get one.
B: Was I supposed to buy a hairdryer?
E: No, but I assumed you would because you were complaining about not having one.
B: What? When did I complain?
E: You complained once.
B: (long disbelieving pause) And so I was supposed to buy a new one?
E: You just do a lot of things that annoy me.

I don't feel that was a justified assumption. Granted, I used her old hairdryer with frequency, but it didn't break because of over use. In fact, said hairdryer was STOLEN along with a bunch of other crap she had in her car. Therefore, its defection from our home was in no way connected to me and one complaint about its disappearance does not mean I am obligated to replace it. Absurd, I say. Absurd.

Not too mention, I'm pretty she does more to annoy me than I her.

That is all.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Because I still have the bullet point option

  • Spent yesterday evening with my friend Claire. We were supposed to see a taping of Jimmy Kimmel with Dominic Monaghan as the guest. Got there too late so we headed towards Westwood for some delicious Enzo's Pizza. *drool* it was so good and I was starving. After that we headed to 3rd Street for Crepes which were equally awesome. It was fun eating good food and catching up. Then I found out I left my lights on (which I totally don't remember using in the first place) and killed the battery. Managed to figure out how to jump it with Claire's car.
  • Got up at 6am to do my homework. Will not be posting it as it is totally crap.
  • Got to work at 8 and found out they decided yesterday that they wanted to put some stuff on sale today. After printing and putting up signs I commenced the finishing touches for my visit. They showed up earlier than projected but it went well overall. He said he thought the shop was great. When we got upstairs to check out Holiday Lane he furiously tore down the signs on the boxed holiday card fixture and went on a rant about how they were too high because the average customer was my height. I refrained from pointing out that I do know how to look up. Whatevs. He hated where Holiday Lane was (as do we all) and told me to pull stuff as soon as the C-tables sell down.
  • I went to class where I spent the better part of an hour and fifteen minutes passing notes with my friend August, wherein we judged people in our class. Turned in my crappy assignment.
  • Went back to work for another 3 hours. Totally didn't want to, but I get paid so I guess its all good.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Writing exercise: Dialogue

Because I did my homework this week, you get a treat...well maybe. We'll find out after you read it.

Visiting Hours

“What, no flowers for me?”

“I don’t have time for this. Why did you call me?”

“Oh we’ll get to it. Franklin, darlin’ can you just close that door for me so Tom and I can have a li’l privacy. That’s a dear.”

“You’ve got everyone wrapped around that finger of yours, don’t you?”

“Oh, I wouldn’t presume-”

“Wouldn’t you?”

“Really, Tom, take a seat. Can’t we be civil?”

“No.”

“There, that’s more comfortable, isn’t it? No reason we can’t share some simple conversation. How’s the family?”

“Is this why you called me over here? Because you’re bored and can’t receive callers anymore?”

“Heavens, Tom. There’s no call to be rude. I was just making polite conversation. My mother was the queen of polite conversation, did you know that, Tom? At my age—by the way I’ll be twenty-six on Friday and expect a cake—she could stop a brawl with her sweet voice. ‘Course, like as not, my daddy probably started the fight in the first place. I wish I coulda known her better, but she went missing when I was seven. Did you have a nice childhood, Tom?”

“Cut the crap. We both know there is a reason you called me here, whether or not its what you mentioned on the telephone.”

“How’s the family, Tom?”

“Fine, we’ll do it your way. The family is fine. Except for the wife, of course, since she’s mad as hell that you somehow got our home number.”

“I’m sorry about that, Tom, but your office won’t take my calls anymore. That secretary of yours is real unaccommodating. You should really consider getting rid of her.”

“I think I’ll give her a raise. Unless I find out she’s the one who gave you my home number.”

“Oh, she’s not. Don’t you remember Missy Trelaine?”

“From the market on 16th?”

“That’s the one! Well, she’s real good friends with Kelly Ann, who, if you recall, is practically a sister to my third cousin Jessie. It was simple enough to call Aunt Helen, who put in a call to her sister, Esther, who, of course, is Jessie’s-”

“I see where this is going. Have you ever heard of invasion of privacy?”

“Well, yes, but I wasn’t invadin’ nobody.”

“My wife begs to differ. I beg to differ. Can we get on with it?”

“I do like your wife, Tom. You made an excellent choice. Some people just marry cause they want to be married and don’t even think about whether or not they’re suitable. Sometimes they don’t even think about whether or not the other person even wants to be married.”

“Can we get to the point of me being here?”
“So hasty!”

“Well, Maryanne, you called me in the middle of dinner saying it was imperative that I come over here right away. You said you were ready to talk. So talk!”

“I have been. Weren’t you listening?”

“All I’ve heard is your usual babble. Now I came down here to hear your side of the story, but if this was just a trick for some company then I’m gonna have to leave.”

“It wasn’t a trick, Tom.”

“Then why am I here? What have you got to say?”

“The truth.”

“And what truth is that, Maryanne?”
“It was self defense.”

“Self defense! The man was napping in his chair! What on earth could you have been defending yourself against? This is ridiculous, Maryanne. I can’t believe you brought me down here for this bull.”

“No, don’t leave-”

“The charges stay at Murder One. I suggest you cut the crap and find a lawyer.”

“It was self defense! It was! Only, it was years too late.”

“What insanity are you talking now, Maryanne?”

“Did you have a nice childhood, Tom?”

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

I so didn't want to go to class tonight. I'm still recovering from the awesome weekend and work is stressing me out. The last thing I wanted to do was spend 3 hours discussing a book I didn't read and failing a quiz on said novel. Also I was terrified to find out what I got on that horrible paper I turned in two weeks ago.

The following are reasons why I am glad I did go:
  • There was no quiz!!!! I don't know why and I am not going to ask.
  • My teacher spent the first 15 minutes of class talking about how not funny Dane Cook is. While I do enjoy his comedy, it was pretty amusing listening to my teacher break down exactly why he thinks Dane Cook is a post-structuralist comic.
  • We read "The Awakening" and it's set in a Creole society. Thus, all the names are French. My teacher obsessively corrected everyone's pronunciation of the name Robert, making sure that it was always said like "row-bear". Which, of course, made me think of Robot.
  • There is this girl who sits to my right and she is ugly. I have this strange fascination with her face. If she is talking I literally cannot look away. Today I discovered that I unconsciously make ugly faces while I do this. Oops!
  • This same girl also said "because of the times" at least 3 times with every comment she made. I don't know why, but it was highly amusing to me. I'm pretty sure she didn't realize exactly how many times she said it (38).
  • While talking about how the character Edna essentially abandons her children, my teacher yells out "I ABANDONED MY CHILD!!!" in perfect Daniel Day Lewis impersonation.
  • And last, but definitely not least, I GOT A FRAKING B ON MY PAPER!!! Woot Woot! That thing was such a piece of shit. I think I sat there in shock for a full on ten minutes.