So this was how my post for today was going to look:

Title: We chose the wrong day to go to Disneyland

Body: I had one word routinely pop into my head today and it kept me amused in the lines--Wonky.


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This is what it ended up being thanks to the five minutes after leaving my parent's house in Sylmar.

Title: Fuck the police

Body: Today was one of those "If only..." days. 

• Today would have started out great if only...
  

I didn't have to get up at 7am

• Getting up at 7am would've been worth it if only...

we had left for Disneyland within the agreed upon time period

• Disneyland would've been more fun if only...

the entire population of California hadn't tried to fit into it at once

• Waiting in line wouldn't have been so boring if only...

my little cousin hadn't broken my games application on my phone 3 days ago

• I would've enjoyed the food more if only...

my woman's time hadn't come today and made me nauseous

• I could've had awesome seats for the snow and fireworks if only...

my sister hadn't whined and convinced my family to leave the park early

• The day would've been classified as "okay" if only...

I hadn't become part of the annual quota for the patrolmen of sylmar

WARNING: There is a lot of swearing, whining, and other stuff I'll probably regret writing later, especially if I suddenly want to have a political career.

Yes, I got pulled over. It was fucking bullshit too. Stupid motherfucker pulls me over literally two blocks from my parent's place and approximately 4 minutes after pulling out of the driveway. At this point in the evening I am disappointed from the many things on the above list and concentrating entirely on not throwing up because that is how bad my stupid ovaries feel. I am driving my sister's car (which is actually my dad's) because she is sick and has just chugged down Nyquil. I offered before she chugged so none of this is her fault. 

So in my kindness I start the car and go down Drell to Borden (both small residential streets). She comments on her curiosity over a couple of police cars on another corner. I was totally reading a book on the way home from Disneyland and have no idea what she is talking about. I turn onto Borden and stop at the stop sign. There are no other cars on the street with me. I check because I had been playing with the radio and I am one of those people who always think that the second they are not looking at the road some car is going to T-bone them. Its a panicked sort of glance. No cars. I continue forward at a sedate pace, because, frankly, I am exhausted and all I want is my bed and a hot washcloth. I pull up to the stop sign at Roxford and stop. Then I ease forward so I can actually see if cars are coming because the city decided to put the stop sign WAY too far away from a place where you can do this. No cars coming. 

I turn right and the Foothill light turns red and I stop behind the car in front of me. I notice a police car pull up on the other side of the street and turn. I comment on it. Then I look in my rearview and see a cop car pulling up behind me. I comment on it. Finally the light turns green. The car in front of me starts to move, I start to move. The cop behind me turns on their lights. Figuring that they want to follow the other car I had seen (this has happened to me before) I pull over to the right lane. Cop car follows. 

Now I am thinking that there must be something wrong with the car: faulty light, expired sticker, something like that. Stupid fucker cop turns on ALL the lights and I am temporarily blinded until I flip up my rearview. I am pretty sure I definitely need glasses now. Thanks. One cop on either side of the car start looking in the car with flashlights. I am now thinking that maybe they think I am hiding something/someone and working with whoever they had previously pulled over. I wonder to myself what that person did. Donut Receptacle #2 knocks on the passenger window so  I roll it down. Whilst doing this, DR #1 knocks on mine. I roll this down as well.

#1 tells me that I didn't stop at the stop sign and didn't use my signal. What the fuck? Uh, yeah, I totally stopped. I probably didn't signal cause there were no cars behind me and its 11:15 on a fucking Monday, but I always stop at stop signs. The only time I don't is that 4-way one in the mall parking lot by work when I open because there is never anyone in the lost that early. Otherwise, I always stop. Especially on that specific corner. I have been driving to and from that house for 3 years, I know its a busy street. I stop, ease forward to see if there is anyone, there's not so I turn. How is this wrong? 

Add into that the fact that I was positive there was no cars behind me. Which begs the question: Where the fuck was this asshole? Either he was driving behind me on Borden the whole time without ANY lights on, or he was on Roxford traveling in the same direction I was turning, meaning he DIDN'T SEE ME MAKE THAT STOP! All he would've seen was my easing forward, which can look like I didn't stop fully or at all. I also ask, if they saw me not stop and not signal why the fuck didn't they turn on their lights right away? Wouldn't normal curb be a better/safe place to pull me over than say, I don't know, the curb right in front of a fucking freeway entrance. Yeah, good plan genius. And they waited the whole fucking light. I think that red light gave them time to think up something they could cite me for. Fuckers. 

So D1 and D2 ask for my license and all that good stuff. Of course the insurance card in the car is expired. Which meant my sister had to call my Dad. Because I am tired, nauseous, bleeding from my vagina, and frustrated, I cry. And then I think about this costing me any money and I cry some more. I am so poor, its really ridiculous. I just got $1000 from my loan and I pretty much owe it to various peoples already. D1 comes back and tells me I get a citation (Hooray!) for the stop and a warning for the signal. I also apparently get a free lecture on how busy Roxford is (keep in mind that exactly one car has passed us this whole time) and I should drive safely home. I am weeping and clearly pissed off and in no mood to listen. I ask him how much money they are planning to take from me. Since my voice is less than stable I must repeat this several times. Unfortunately the anger is diminished with each repetition (and repeating myself, by the way, is a HUGE pet peeve). He tells me the court will decide and let me know. 

At this point I hate cops. I know my cousin is a cop and I love her, but she is totally bitchy enough for that job. I seriously wanted to kick this guy in the balls. I wanted to take their flashlights and first hit their groin and then go for the jugular. Stupid mother fucking quota collecting lying asshole douchebag. All I wanted to do was go home. That's it. 

Suffice to say, the second I get that court date in the mail I am asking for it off. There is no way in hell I am paying that bullshit. I stopped. I know it, my sister knows it, and the two donut receptacles know it. 

I am still fucking pissed, but slightly better now that I am in my bed and have eaten chocolate. I apologize for the rant, but it was that or go hunt him down.