writing exercise: amplify voice

To Magazine Man—

Look, I know you’re not trying to be rude (at least I assume this to be true), but this staring at me from behind a magazine every Monday and Wednesday afternoon is getting just plain creepy. The first few weeks I thought it was cute. I mean, what 34 year-old woman wouldn’t want the attentions of an attractive man in his early twenties? You are at least legal, right? I mean, you look young, but not too young. But that’s beside the point. The point is, I was flattered. I might have even spent an extra fifteen minutes before work blow-drying my hair so it would look like a blonde waterfall instead of the hot mess is usually is after spending the morning chasing around two 8 year-olds in Power Ranger pajamas. There’s also a good possibility that I made sure to wear my older barista shirts; the ones that have shrunk in the wash and emphasize my “better” attributes. But all of this is beside the point, because I’m not flattered anymore. I was, but now it’s been two months and you haven’t even said a word to me, despite all the stares and smiles that have been exchanged. In fact, you bizarrely go out of your way to avoid speaking to me at all. I’m not the most enthusiastic of employees here at Starbucks (which you’ve probably noticed), but if you would at least attempt to give your order to me, instead of waiting for those 2 minutes when I’m restocking, I promise I’ll give you the best damn service you’ve ever had at 8:36 in the morning.  Why don’t I make the first move? At this point in my life, I deserve a little hot pursuit. Plus, you forget that I’m at work. I can’t hit on the customers, for crying out loud. I’d get fired, and Lord knows I need the miniscule paycheck keeping me afloat. And the free monthly pound of coffee. But that’s beside the point and I’m running out of room on this napkin. The point is: stop being a creeper and ask me out already! I might even say yes.