Legends of the Hidden Hot Dogs

So today I decided to stop at my house on the way to my date because I desperately needed to go pee and I forgot to go at work before I left. So I hastily park my car and run to the door because, at this point, I'm doing the dance. I don't know if I've properly explained the difficulty I have with my poorly made house key. Its a piece of shit. The first time I tried to open our screen door it took me an average of 75 attempts at turning. LAME SAUCE!! Its not AS bad nowadays, but there are 4 different locks I have to get through. Suffice to say, I now know how those kids on Legends of the Hidden Temple feel when they have to construct that monkey before the temple guards get to them.

That done, I headed out to my second date with a fellow I met online. My first date last week went generally well, but there was simply no spark. I agreed to a second date just to make suresies. I also have been spending this entire week trying to figure out how exactly to tell him I'm not interested without hurting his feelings, because I hate making people sad. It makes me sad. So, I've been asking around for suggestions and here are some of them:

David: He will arrive in the middle of my date with either roses or a ring and pretend to be my current beau. Fairly certain I wouldn't be able to keep a straight face, so that idea is out.

Adam: Excuse myself to go to the restroom and use a running punch to incapacitate him while I run away.

Kaitlin: Had an excellent suggestion of some sort but I FORGOT! Sorry, Wifey :(

Kellie: Tell him I got a second job and don't have the time or money to go out.

Adam: Adam will call him and break up with him for me.

Sarah L.: Tell him I'm not interested.

Mom: Rip off the bandaid aka tell him I'm not attracted to him.


All very good suggestions (minus Uncle 2%), but things didn't really work out as planned...

So, after my LOTHT moment, I made my way to the super hidden and fancy sauce Cupid's Hot Dogs in San Fernando. And, no shit, as I am walking up the song "Breaking Up is Hard to Do" is playing. WTF?!

Anyhoo, we order and I grudgingly allow him to pay (although I ended up contributing a dollar because their credit card machine wasn't functioning properly). We eat and chat for a little while and then he mentions that he was thinking we should go see a movie at 8:30. I check my phone, its 8:15. The theatre is at least 15 minutes away, but probably more. Plus, I'm super tired (which always makes me super blunt) so I straight up say "No". I tell him that I wouldn't be able to stay awake through the movie (which is probably true). I can tell he's a little put off by his plans going awry, but he says its no big deal and we can always reschedule.

I take the out. I know its cowardly, but I am so not in the mood to have an awkward conversation in front of Cupid's. I tell him that sounds good. I assumed we would stay a few minutes and talk some more since we were no longer in a rush, but this fool stands up, throws away our trash and asks "So, where did you park?". Okay, then.

My date lasted a whopping 27 minutes.

So, I've decided to send him a message (maybe call, but probably not) in the next few days and inform him that, upon reflection, I really don't think we work romantically. He's a cool guy but, in all honesty, I want the sparks. I need the sparks. I know it may sound stupid or naive, but I don't want to prolong this if there's no excitement. Its not worth it to me.

Anyhizzle, not much else going on. I'm looking for a second job so I can pay back the man for my education. Hopefully, I can get a job at Urban Outfitters with my god-sister, but it may end up being some shitty part-time at a fastfood establishment. We'll see.