Cajun french + Judas Priest= Fabulousity

I am writing this post whilst on a ten minute break during my theories of fiction night class. I fucking love this teacher. Things that make him unique: tattoos up the wahzoo, rapid fire speech, swears like a sailor, and very, very queer. Also, if he messes up your name twice, you get to call him a motherfucker. Anyway, he is amazing! Also, the course sounds challenging, but interesting.  I can't wait. 

This looks like fun.

Despite it all, Orlando was hot as Paris

School so far has gone well. I have yet to attend my night class, but that shall be remedied in a few short hours. I am terrified of my poetry class, but it did introduce me to a really awesome poem. It's called "Love, Helen" by Lynnell Edwards. Unfortunately, I am not particularly internet savvy, so I shall have to just type it out. I was going to type excerpts, but the whole thing is just awesome. Just for a reference, this is supposed to be a letter from Helen of Troy. Hilarious.

A thousand fucking ships 

to recover my sweet ass?

What fools. And that's not

the half of it. Listen, bitch:

I wanted out. Out

of that palace house, prison

of Spartan glint and despair;

out from under the sexless

slump of the old man,

his stale breath, palsied grip;

out from the clutches 

of the brats we begot, immortals'

burden to issue heirs. Out

of it all, sister. So when 

that fine shepherd showed

his sweet face, the swan

in me lifted to meet his mouth,

wild bird heart swollen

like a snail in the Aegean breeze, 

his hands on the arc

of my cygnet neck, his hands

sculpting the hollow of my waist,

now winged love soaring

across the waves, the wine-dark

flush of desire unconstrained, 

now my marble silence

tightening as a noose

around Troy's breath. And you

want to know why and how

much and when.

I say: take your goddamn thousand ships,

rattling songs of arms and the man,

clarion gifts that seethe revenge, 

but know this: when the long battle

years wage on and you wait

for your man while age bends

your brittle frame, spots

your once-milky skin, thins

your fertile hair where he buried

his tears, released his joy, 

know this: I am beautiful

still; your men, all dead.

-Love, Helen

  Lynnell Edwards

So I thoroughly enjoyed that poem. Aside from that, not much exciting going on. 

Popular in the Yukon

So, in my quest to avoid strange stalkers on Myspace, I have my place of residence as the Yukon, Canada. Today I received a message from some guy who is moving to Canada and wants to get to know people there before he does (likely not true). I'm sorry, what? You want to befriend someone in the fracking Yukon?! Not the same thing as Quebec or Toronto. And secondly, my "city of residence" on myspace is "Second start to the right". Hmm, funny but I don't think I've heard of that part of Canada. For fucksake. I hate random people on the internet. Do they really think I was born yesterday? Lame. 

Another day, another dollar

Today was a quite uneventful day. Nothing exciting or annoying happened at work  and I really didn't do much beside work and watch "I am Legend" at Jennie's after. 

After work, I did strike up a conversation with some girls who were shopping for a romance novel as a present. They needed advice and we ended up kickin' it in the section for a half hour talking about books we've read and my fave show, "Jon and Kate Plus Eight". It was an interesting and amusing conversation. 

Yesterday saw the completion of the Veronica Mars viewing sessions and I am unsatisfied. I love Logan. 

We leave tomorrow for our visit with Andrew and I am so excited! ABK2 will be reunited for a day! Unfortunately we have to head home on Saturday, but that does mean I can now go to the preview screening of "12 Rounds"! yay! I admit, I rented "The Marine" and loved it and all its ridiculousness

You fuck my wife?

Today was a good day! Well, I guess it was yesterday technically speaking. Anyhizzle, I worked at 7am (gah!) and we moved around the downstairs displays until you need a compass and a guide to get to the stairs and god forbid you need to find the elevator. Its a little maze-y. Oh well. 

I managed to get all of my shit done with an hour to spare! All while executing excellent customer service. The result of all this is pure exhaustion and tears at the thought that I work at 7am again today. 

After work I hung around the backroom with Kellie then scampered off to grandma's house with my newly purchased copies of Camp Rock and the new JB album. I visited with my cousin, who had her first day of high school today (at my alma mater) and needed my assistance in memorizing a JB song to sing in theater class. It was fun to hang out with her, because she is ridiculously funny. After that I feasted on yummy grandma food and dropped my cousin off. 

From there I met up with some friends at a bar and that's a ridiculous story I shall not force upon anyone. So, now I am tired and will go to sleep. 

booshit booshit booshit

Michael Phelps considered the concept of Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris spent a week in the hospital.

I'm hot...

Am watching "Jon and Kate Plus Eight". This is my crack. Its ridiculous. I even watch the same episodes and can't look away. Damn you TLC for playing this show at midnight!!! I need sleep, I open tomorrow at 7!

Today was uneventful and I was lazy. I abandoned the cross-merchandising project halfway through the day because I ran out of booklights that would fit on the endcaps. I really don't feel like finishing the remaining 4% of displays. Ugh. 

I can't wait for this weekend and I totally vote for Yosemite!!!!

For you Wifey...

I can't grow a mustache...

Hopefully at some point I will figure out a normal sleeping pattern. I'm totally awake and strangely ravenous. 

Today was good. Patrick and I closed together for the first time. Well, it was also the first time he's closed the store in two years. We did an amazing job, if I say so myself. Not only did we make plan, but the store looked amazing and our closers finished in under a half hour. All around good times. 

It was day two of the "Cross-merchandise every single endcap in the store" project. I at least moved past the relevant add-ons and now only have to put booklights on the remaining endcaps (which is about half of the store). I suspect this is all I will be doing for the majority of tomorrow. 

I didn't know they made a "Gone With the Wind" musical...but I enjoy promo picture.

The truth about Michael Phelps

Jesus doesn't walk on water.

He stands on Michael Phelps' back. 

I am also of the opinion that Michael Phelps is not ready for full-on facial hair. He kinda looks like Dustin Diamond in this one.

Its too bad he suffers from the same thing Beckham does: an amazing body paired with an unfortunate voice. If only he didn't have a lisp! *shakes fist*

Where the frak are the sheep?

Am awake at 4am again.

This closing shit is throwing me off. 

Cause it's Friday Night...

Went out to Dimples after work. It was interesting. I think the most interesting part was the shape of the place. Totally random. 

One guy that we met used to be neighbors to The Used and has all their numbers in his phone. *points to self* jealous. He was highly amusing too. 

I don't know that it was my scene per se, but it was fun. 

We stayed til close and then went to Bob's Big Boy for late night eats. Hence the 4am post.

Chased the lighting last night. Only found this one video on youtube cause I'm lazy.

Probably better to watch without the sound cause this kid's commentary is lame. 

Also thought I'd add some photos taken by yours truly in D.C.

Most of them look like just bright light, but there if you look close you can see the bolt. Amazing! I spent hundreds of pictures on this storm. 

Warning: Awkwardness Abounds

My disclaimer:

I wish I could be eloquent and clever and witty in the writing of my blog. Unfortunately, I am none of these things, so I can only be honest. 

In my determination to be completely honest in my blog (B.H.'08), I sometimes reveal events or thoughts that are awkward and uncomfortable and sometimes cringe-worthy. If any of these situations involve you and make you feel any of those things, I am sorry. It is never my intention to paint anyone in a bad light. If you read a situation and it involves you and makes you uncomfortable, just remember that I probably feel worse, because I am constantly aware of how awkward I am in my day-to-day interactions with people.

So, that being said, I will try to filter my thoughts, or at least attempt to construct them in a way that misunderstandings of my feelings cannot occur. If I have told you that you are my friend, take comfort in knowing that you actually are my friend and, as such, there is very little you can do to make me change my opinion of you. Stupid shit and awkward situations don't register with me on that sphere. 

I am sorry if I get too weird. Just let me know. 

frak yeah!

LIGHTNING!!!!!!

Sorry

Wifey, this is for you.

Sorry. 

Oh dang

Its 2 o'clock in the morning and I don't know why I chose to do this now.

I've put it off for so long, who knows why.

At this point, I'm really glad that I am doing this alone.

Too many tears and I'm only two hours in.

Probably I'll be up for another couple of hours cause I can't stop myself now that I've started. 

Hopefully I can power through this.

I have started watching season 4 of BSG.

Frak me. 

Who said we were friends?

Why can't everyone just be a workaholic like me so that I don't have to be annoyed at work. 

Grrrrr! I hate people who are lazy and then lie to my face about it! At least D.B. knows he's lazy. 

This is what I felt like on the inside for half of the day...

Thankfully, I have tomorrow off. Maybe I'll be industrious and clean the house. Or  maybe I'll be adventurous and take the metro somewhere. Or maybe I'll be creative and write something. Or maybe I'll be studious and get a head start on my school reading (of which there is a lot). Or maybe I shall say "fuck it" and sleep til the early evening...yeah I'll probably end up doing the last one, but I'm okay with that. 

I also saw Indiana Jones last night. Not the movie, the person. It was funny. I was standing outside Pickwick's after they closed and this fellow walks past. I noticed he was dressed like Indy and even looked like a youngish Harrison Ford (rowr!). It wasn't until I saw the hat and whip log on the back of his jacket that I realized that this was the look he was going for. I got excited, but the people I was with hadn't noticed so it was just me. 

Am a little link happy tonight.

Kellie this is for you.

So not HSM quality

Am watching "American Mall" on MTV right now and was delightfully surprised that Neil, one of my faves from "So You Think You Can Dance" has a bit part. Love him!

At least I don't have a mangy wardrobe

I realized today, while in a meeting with Alix, that I have no idea what I am doing as a supervisor. I really have no clue what is going on because I live in my little world of getting shit done. What is worse, is that I cannot drum up the motivation to care at the moment. Hmm...

KTP this is for you...at least I'm pretty sure your the person who showed me Diary of a Wombat

We were talking about old TV shows that other night. Do you remember this one?

HAHA!! triumph with the adding of video! I will conquer you yet Blog!

I don't know the name, I only know the sound it makes when it lies

I went to a screening of Tropic Thunder tonight. It was a really fucking hilarious movie. I was laughing the whole time, even during the parts that were over the top funny, I was still chuckling over the previous scene. Amanda and I got our faces painted camouflage and my artist was a bit over zealous while hers was really precise. We took hilarious pictures of us behind a bush, but they're all on her phone (of course).

I also got a text from a friend I never see and it made me a little uncomfy. It was one of those phrases that kind of sounds like a come-on, but could also just be a nice sentiment. I don't know. Thankfully, it was apparently just a song lyric they were passing on. Phew! I hate awkward situations...right.

Anyway, I am so not looking forward to this week, but it must be suffered through. Bleh.

Glad I wore the dog tags tonight. Strangely appropriate.   

Idiot

-Noun

1. an utterly foolish or senseless person

2. Psychology. a person of the lowest order in a former classification of mental retardation, having a mental age of less than three years old and an intelligence quotient under 25

3. Me, today. 

So I was an hour and a half late for work today. And then I just generally sucked at life. It was not fun. 

For my wife,

Explanation: I was told I looked pretty last night and it embarrassed me. I don't know why. 

I saw a license plate today that said    P MINER

I wonder what P he is mining...endless possibilities.

Blush or Brush(off)

Why are all compliments embarrassing to me?

I am weird. 

Bad grammar = British sounding blogging

Finished Belle de Jour. Despite awkward subject matter, is thoroughly enjoyable book. Wonder if customers will be offended if put on the staff picks...? Shall ponder this. 

Hung out with K2 tonight and had fun. Hit up Westwood and ended up watching a few VM episodes at Kaitlin's new pad. Took awesome gangsta pic of Kellie. Was fun. 

Am off to bed. 

And thoroughly enjoying lack of articles in sentences...teehee!

Vampires, Rockstars & Way Too Many Females

Sorry for the last post. Apparently it made Kaitlin make an ugly face...too bad Kellie and her camera weren't around. If it was too awkward for anyone who reads this (who reads this shit anyway?) I apologize. Although really I shouldn't because this is a blog...and those were my thoughts. 

Anywho, tonight we went to the Breaking Dawn Concert thing at UCLA and it was AMAZING!!! I ran into my friend Gaby and also Lauren! Funny story: we were heading into line to get in and right before my sister spotted  Gaby I was looking at the line and saw a familiar blonde. In my head I went "Wow. Its Catherine Hardwicke (the director of Twilight). Should I say something? I don't really have anything for an autograph or picture. Oh well" and continued walking. Turns out, other people were not so calm about her presence (in line no less!) and promptly formed a mob/queue to get her autograph or picture. My sister got her to sign her copy of Twilight (the book obviously). That was interesting. 

There was lots of snarky comments from the peanut gallery (i.e. me, kaitlin, emily, and jennie) about various things. One woman sitting in front of us was WAY too enthusiastic for my taste (especially at her age!) and at one point she stood up and I said "Sit down, crazy!" really loud and Kaitlin laughed, which is basically why I keep her around. So sometimes I can believe I am funny. They started doing a trivia thing to keep people in their seats (which was unsuccessful) and I figured out really quick that she was asking the same questions I asked at the BD party on Friday. It was really funny. Especially when I started yelling out the answer before the question was over. My favorite was when she realized she was going to have to read the options out loud so I saved her the time and just yelled out "C!" because I was painfully familiar with these questions. Unfortunately, I was unsuccessful in acquiring a shirt or Stephenie's signature under the Muse dedication (as was my intent). 

One more interesting/nerdy story. We were standing in line in the hall and the whole time they were playing the playlists from the books. I, of course, was singing along when strangely "The Killing Moon" by Echo & The Bunnymen comes on. Now, having spent how many hours compiling this exact grouping of songs, I am intimately familiar with the tracks that are on it. This song is not. As a matter of fact this song is on a playlist on my computer called "Bella and Jacob". This playlist is on a cd that I personally gave to Stephenie Meyer last year when she was doing signings for Eclipse. Hmmm...coincidence? I don't know. Maybe she actually listened to the shit. That'd be pretty cool. This year I gave her some B-side music from Muse that she may or may not already have. 

The night was finished off with a trip to In-N-Out. YUM! ...*shifty eyes* sorry weight watchers...

Tomorrow is 08-08-08...what are YOU doing?

Bonnie de Jour

So I've been reading "Belle de Jour" by Anonymous. I'm about halfway through and I am having these weird moments where I remember that this is nonfiction and it freaks me out. Not in a like bad way. Its sort of this strange realization that this is (or was) someone's life. Then I can't help but imagine myself in these situations and its even stranger. Especially when it makes sense. Scary. Oh, this book is about a London call girl by the way. The author is actually the inspiration for the new showtime series that I've recently taken to watching. Unfortunately I have just cancelled said channel so that is at an end. 

So reading this book I wonder: could I ever be a call girl? My first inclination is respond in the negative. I don't think I have the personality for it. Logistically though, it would make a certain sense. Do you really think after having read how many thousands of romance novels I haven't picked up a couple tricks? (tricks! hahaha!) Its an interesting concept. However since I still haven't cashed in the v-card this question remains moot. 

In other news we have a new GM. While I disagree with his method of making changes before observing our operations, he seems a nice enough fellow. IPT is probably shitting a brick because their reality is the most affected. Sorry guys. I closed for the first time since May and I had to be the teacher. It was weird. We left the lights on cause neither of us know how to turn them off (if there is a way). I think that's probably the only thing we may have done wrong, but who knows. I am no expert. I'm a little "hmm" that him and Jen are so buddy-buddy already. She's such a bitch. Today she was "chatting" with him and as they were leaving the backroom she was telling him how she's "never cashed a single paycheck". Terin and I just rolled our eyes at each other. That woman is so getting mugged before I leave this job. 

Jsun and I went on a seemingly fruitless quest to Granada to watch the filming of HSM3. We walked the whole school and never saw anything but sport kids and band kids. After I got to work and David Brown (the relayer of the original info) called his sister, we found out that whoever from that cast was there was in the room with the band. Fuck! We walked right past that room. We suck. 

Breaking Dawn concert thing is tomorrow. I am so excited!!! Not only do I get to complete my collection of signed Stephenie Meyer novels, but I get to indulge in my favorite eating places in Westwood. Good times. 

And yes, I did go crazy with the links in this posting. DEAL WITH IT! hehehehe

And damn you Robot for getting me addicted to the fries/ice cream combo!