Leaving for Yosemite tomorrow. I am so unprepared and lack the proper motivation to pack my necessities. Plus, I have to wait until my laundry is done and so far I have one load in the dryer and one in the washer. I also have 3 loads waiting on my bed. Ugh. And I have yet to figure out what I'm putting my clothes in. I can't take my suitcase cause its too cumbersome and I'm fairly certain I don't have a duffle bag. Should be interesting.

On the up side, I totally can't wait for four days off work. Tomorrow will be my 7th day in a row working. Needless to say, I am exhausted. On a tangent, why do people say "needless to say" and then say that which is supposed to be obvious? If you're gonna just say it anyway, wouldn't that make the "needless to say" unnecessary? Or, needless? Language is a funny thing.

I am not digging this lack of a car. On the one hand, I do miss taking public transportation around. Its fun. On the the other hand, this is the worst week for me to be without wheels. I'm way to freaking tired to get up early for the bus. I walked the other day, but Patrick and Heather saw me walking and made me get in their car. The ease of just having someone else drive me has become more desirable than the exercise from walking or the reduction of my carbon footprint from taking public transportation. As I sit here, waiting for 7:50, when I leave for the bus, I am actually hoping that my sister will wake up early enough to just take me so I don't have to walk up the sneaky incline that is Tampa Avenue. Plus, I still have the after effects of a charlie horse I got in the middle of the night.

One step forward, two steps back.

This week is a strange mix of horrible and good moments. Its really fucking with my head. I feel like I'm bipolar or something. One second I'm having an awesome time and the next I'm in a useless argument or my car dies. Its like I have to pay for all those good moments.

I saw 500 days of summer tonight and it was an excellent film. It had some sad moments, but was still great. I love Joseph Gordon Levitt, even though I'm pretty sure he's one of those people who is a total ass in real life. Although, that may not be true now that he's lowered himself to making movies like G.I. Joe.

Haven't updated cause my frequent postings were met with a decided lack of comments so I didn't think anyone was reading this shit. I like comments. Maybe its vain of me, but overwhelming lack of response makes me think that I'm being stupid and no one cares about what I've written. It probably all stems from some part of my childhood (doesn't everything?), but its a character flaw that seems to be here to stay. I need feedback. Smiley faces will do.

Anyway, today was interesting. We went to the beach (we being Kennya, Margeaux, Nate, Rey and I) and had lots o' fun playing in the water, reading, eating, and playing with the football and frisbee.

We then swung by Menchies for some delish yogurt and headed back to the mall to drop off Margeaux. Nate and Kennya were traveling in Kennya's car and taking a different route. So we were going down Vanowen and right before Tampa my speakers just die. Bummed out, I commented on their death. Then as I pulled into the left turn lane, my signal didn't work so I was like "Shit, my battery is fucked. I'll try to get us back to Borders". Stupid me forgot that it was Farmer's Market and got in the left turn lane by Borders. I could feel my car dying as we waited FOREVER to turn. Right before our turn my car died. Rey got out and pushed me forward so the rest of the cars behind me could still make their turn. Kennya then pulled up behind me to offer aid. Rey decided to push me in reverse to the small residential street across from the mall. That done, Kennya came over and gave me a jump.

So with my battery sort of working, we headed to my house. We missed the left turn light at Nordhoff and Reseda and decided to go straight to Rayen and take the back way. Unfortunately, my car started to die as I made my turn. We only got to the corner of Rayen and Nestle before it died again and I had to call my sister for a jump. That done, I was finally home.

My sister, in a rare show of consideration, decided to make us dinner. While we were waiting for the manicotti to cool, she asked me to make some garlic bread. I decided not to use the whole loaf since 2/3 of it was more than enough for 2 people. So, after applying butter and garlic salt, I placed it in the broiler as directed by my sister. I then put away the butter and such and noticed it smelled a little like the bread was burning, but it was an elusive scent so I ignored it. Less than a minute later I asked my sister what that smell was, to which she replied "That's just the bread". But I was like "It smells bad, though". So, I went to check on it and when I opened the broiler the bread was on fire. On freakin' fire! So I was like "Dude, its totally on fire" and closed the broiler and turned it off. Emily went running to the fire extinguisher (which I'm pretty sure expired like 10 years ago) which I didn't think was necessary. As she aimed it, I told her to wait and opened the broiler. The bread was only slightly aflame and as I was about to blow it out (which totally would've worked) she fired the stupid fire extinguisher RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. Not cool breathing in that shit. We then scrambled to open all windows and get the manicotti out of there. It was a little chaotic and our whole house was filled with that shit for a good half hour.

It was highly amusing though. After the first five minutes, I couldn't stop laughing every time I thought about it. Its a good thing I didn't use all the bread.

stuff and stuff

Dear lord I am posting a lot of late. I think its cause I'm lacking in actual human interaction. 

Anyhoo...

Yesterday my sister and I decided to hit up 3rd Street Promenade since we could legitimately get away with only spending a few dollars (parking). Whilst in traffic along Sepulveda a champagne colored sedan pulled up directly to my left and inside was a businessman. He was listening to news radio REALLY FRAKIN' LOUD and I was like "Oh man! Really?". Well, right after I said that the dude changes the radio station. I was like "Thank god" and the guy settled on really hardcore metal. Emily and I couldn't stop laughing cause that was like a complete 180 and not at all what we were expecting. 

The promenade itself was fun. It turns out if you go after 6pm parking is only a $3 flat rate. SWEET! We walked around, forced Old Navy to cash out Em's gift card, then headed to Cafe Crepe for some yummy food and crappy service. I agreed to split the cost of a pitcher of Sangria ($12 and totally worth it), a pannini, and a nutella/banana crepe. After we finished the food (and about halfway through the pitcher) we decided to order another crepe and Em decided to foot the entire bill. Yay! So I basically paid for parking and that's it!

Today I worked a little girl's birthday party doing face painting and made $150 in two hours! Woot! Woot! Now I can eat for the rest of the week. 

Speaking of this week, it is totally going to ROCK!

Sunday: Rock Band & True Blood night at Patrick and Heather's place-->potentially get to see my wife

Monday: Incubus at Hollywood Bowl

Tuesday: So You Think You Can Dance taping

Wednesday/Thursday: visiting Arwen in San Diago-->potentially greeting a new born baby cousin!

Friday: Closing at work WITH MIGUEL!

Saturday: Potentially game night at my house

Excellent week coming up. Good night. 

how much

Upon my re-entering the living room the other night.

Mom: What happened?

Me: Kellie called me from Colorado.

Mom: Oh, that's why you looked so happy. 

Thirteen on Thursday (via Friday): Careers--Now with pictures!

The following are various careers that at one point or another in my life I seriously considered as my future. No particular order. 

1.  Nanny: This was a couple of years ago when I wasn't focusing strongly on school and I found out how potentially pimp this job could be. 

2.  Event Planner: This actually has not been crossed off the list cause I really love planning parties/receptions, etc. Kellie and I may one day still have our company. 

3.  Novelist: Clearly, this is still on the table. Hopefully my romance novel will be completed and published in the next few years :)

4.  Teacher: I first considered this when I was in about 2nd grade. I really wanted to be like my dad. Still considering it at the moment. 

5.  Singer: I have a moderately nice voice at the moment, but when I was younger it was awesome sauce. Not as great as my eldest sister's, but good nonetheless. Then I had a super ridiculously bad cold in 4th grade and it was never the same. c'est la vie. 

6.  Housekeeper: This sort of goes along with the nanny thing, but mostly I thought this was a great idea when I was in junior high and cleaning houses for extra $$$

7.  Personal Assistant: I don't know why I wanted to do this, but it still doesn't sound all that bad as long as my boss isn't insane.

8.  Poet (laureate): Still has potential, but I like narrative writing better. I don't know...

9.  Screenwriter: Totally bought a book and everything about 4 years ago and still have at least one screenplay in the back of my mind. However, I don't think I am good at this, so probably not going to happen.

10.  Actress: Yeah, this is a dead dream. Totally from like elementary school when I didn't know how mediocre I am at acting. 

11.  Owner/Proprietress of small bookstore: Emily and I had big plans for our little store. It was gonna be super cute with a little coffee shop upstairs. 

12.  Graphic Artist: I don't know why technology started hating me after I graduated high school, but I used to be very tech savvy. 

13.  Operations Specialist for USCG: Kind of goes along with the previous option. As I said, I was very interested in computers. 

Grrrr!

My sister has got to be the fucking most annoying person in the world. I need to move out. She is driving me insane. Today I offered to make spaghetti for dinner and she's like "Okay, well I'm going to Sam's for a few hours, but I'll be back for dinner." So I decided to wait until she got home to cook cause when she goes to Sam's it can be for a long ass time and I didn't want to have cold spaghetti just sitting out. Well she comes back and starts whining, literally whining, about how hungry she is and why didn't I have the food ready. Then she left to get fast food. 

Then, after I told her a shit load of times that I didn't want my mother to know how trashed I got on Saturday she fucking tells my dad. Then she's all "you said Mom". WTF? We all know that if you tell one parent the other will find out. Its just a bunch of little things that keep adding up and make me want to punch her in the face. 

ARRGH! (heh I'm a pirate) I just needed to vent. 

Otherwise, somehow when I changed my layout I lost my C-box, so I have created a new one until the old one is found. 

My 14 year old cousin has a more exciting love life than I do. Its sad.

Just finished watching Caprica. AHMAZING!!! Well, the concept. I'm not super judgmental when it comes to visual and such, but I really enjoyed this and can't wait for more. I like how they totally parallel the Adama storyline with old school Italian immigrants. Also thoroughly enjoyed the whole fish in the sand sign of Christianity reference. Excellent casting as well. 

Fourth

Yesterday was fun. I basically did nothing but troll the internet and play with photoshop (see picture above) until like 4:30 when I started getting things ready for the party. Since I had no idea how many people were actually showing up it was annoying doing food prep. I now have quite a bit of meat in the fridge (heh). Anyhoo, Dave saved the day by using a shovel as a machete to rescue the bbq from the elephant grass. I now have a functioning bbq!! yay!

It wasn't a huge party, but the people who did show seemed to have a good time. A few of us walked to CSUN at 9pm to watch the Porter fireworks from the top of the parking structure. It ended up being a 360 fireworks show cause we could see them in every direction. Total good times. Upon returning I was coerced into a game of "flip cup" which was really fun cause the girls totally kicked the guys asses. I somehow again got roped into beer pong. My teammate Areeya was strangely amazing at this game. Unfortunately we ended up losing, but that's okay cause I was too drunk to care. Then the guys decided to set off fireworks...or wait, I think the fireworks were before beer pong. I don't even know anymore. 

I still can't believe that we set them off on the grass. That was stupid, but thankfully nothing caught on fire. We did have one fire mishap, but that was the citronella candle. Someone dropped a Dorito in and apparently they are highly flammable. The candle tin ended up getting so hot it melted the table under it. Then when Liz poured her water on it to kill the flame (which would not respond to my attempts at blowing it out) it fucking erupted and then died. So weird. 

After that Rey and I split a bottle of Patron (which was a totally bad idea) and that's about the point where I forget details. I know I ended up on my living room floor and Rey asked me if I was going to throw up and then I did. From that point I vaguely remember people helping me up and my sister helping change my clothes and get into bed. Apparently the party continued for another 2 hours with people making more food and setting off more fireworks. Rey got crazy with the lighter fluid and singed off some arm hair and maybe eyebrow. 

All in all, good times, but I think I'm gonna have to take a little break. Throwing up is like the worst thing that could ever happen to me and I am in no hurry to do it again. 

Now is time for sleep.

-------UPDATE--------

So I found out from my sister that after the Patron shots with Rey I went to lay down on the floor and people were handing me shot after shot of vodka. When Emily finally noticed that I was mindlessly consuming alcohol she made them stop, but unfortunately it was too late cause I threw up on the carpet anyway. 

Just wanted to clarify that it WAS NOT MY FAULT that I threw up. If people had left me alone once I settled onto the floor I would've been fine. Jerks. 

Twofer! Writing exercise: Mint a Metaphor & Invent Structure

Mint a Metaphor

I discovered the pair of red heels when I was five. My mother, as usual, was hosting a charity luncheon in town at Tabitha’s Tea House over on Charity and Main. This time it was for a shelter for victims of domestic abuse. The shelter itself wasn’t in our county, heavens no. In fact, Kingston had the lowest domestic crime rate in the state. The beneficiary shelter was in Paxton, the closest thing to a big city for almost sixty miles. In fact, the more prideful or intoxicated inhabitants took to calling it “the little big city”. Most everyone else just called it Hell.
Anyway, Mama was in town on that particular afternoon and my nanny, Jenny Sue was busy trying to get the dirt off my favorite Sunday dress. Normally, she’d just have Ella, our maid, clean it, but she had the day off on account of her baby, Jeremiah, running a fever of 108. Mama said Daddy would be angry ‘bout Ella staying home, but Jenny Sue offered to make sure the housework got done before Daddy got home from his fishing trip with the Mayor of the next county over.
I wasn’t looking for anything in particular. Usually when I managed to get away from Jenny Sue—which wasn’t hard especially when that ranch hand, Cash Belew, came ‘round for his wages on the first Friday of the month—I’d just sit in front of the open closet door and watch the shadows of the trees outside run lovingly over my Mama’s pastel dresses. Sometimes, if I was bold, I’d run my own small hand down one or two.
This time, as I was trying to count the number of eyelets on a summer dress, I noticed the corner of a black box, peaking out from behind Mama’s best shall that she’d only ever worn when Daddy was sworn in. I didn’t even realize what I was doin’ until it was sitting there in front of me on the floor. I opened the lid and my eyes right about popped outside my head at the sight of them. They were the most beautiful pair of shoes I ever did see. I remember how the shadows of the branches parted just enough for the sun to kiss the deep red suede, caressing each dip and curve and stopping with a flash on the silver tip of the heel. I wanted to try them on so badly, but Jenny Sue called me down for a washing. I could hear her on the stairs and shoved the box back into the closet and ran to meet her at the top. She asked me if I was riflin’ through Mama’s things again and of course I didn’t tell her about those high heels.

I woke up from a dream about wearing the heels and all I could see was the shadows from the moonlight trees dancing across the curtains of my four-poster bed. The voices were muted, but my ears were so attuned to them that I could’ve heard them from a mile away. I crawled slowly across the snowy linens, careful not to get tangled in the new nightgown Daddy had bought on his way home from fishing. I didn’t understand what they were saying so I opened my door and made my way down the hall, prayin’ that the wooden floor would keep my secret. The door was only opened slightly, but I could see their shadows on the wall behind the bed. I’d never heard Daddy sound so angry. Not even when Samuel accidentally left the coop open and lost over thirty chickens. Mama’s quiet voice soothed where his electrified my nerves. I’d only ever heard the word “whore” when Mama first mentioned today’s luncheon to him last month. Maybe he just didn’t want Mama helping those girls in the shelter. I held onto this thought as I saw the red heels hit the wall.

Invent Structure

In Love and Death

1.

My father is a taxidermist. My first real memory is of waking up in my crib and looking into the eyes of a grey kitten we would later nickname, Frisky. My first meeting with Frisky didn’t exactly go as my dad had planned. Apparently the cat was to be my reward for saying my first word, but instead of being excited about the prospect of a new toy, I took one look at the kitten’s eyes and burst into tears. I don’t remember my father racing into the room nor do I remember throwing Frisky from the crib. But whenever my dad tells the story, he came racing into the nursery, alarmed by a change in my cries, and found Frisky on his side beneath my crib, head bent at a curious angle, and me clinging to the bars of my bed, staring at the body on the floor. As soon as my father lifted me to his chest I stopped crying, but remained fixated on the animal lying on the ground. My first word may have been “Mama”, but my second was “sleeping”.

2.

When I was in fourth grade I convinced my father to participate in career day. It took two weeks of straight begging until he finally looked me in the eye and said, Meggie your friends aren’t going to understand what I do, but if you really want me to do, I will. Of course I wanted him to do it. The truth was, I didn’t really understand what he did either, I only knew he brought things back to life in a way in the cool basement of our house.
The class was quiet as he slowly wrote his occupation down on the chalkboard in front of us. My bouncing knees kept hitting the bottom of the desk all throughout his speech. I work in a mortuary, he told my class. He explained how it was his job to prepare a body for viewing and burial. He thought people should look their best when they were put into the ground. I didn’t understand at the time why he didn’t mention Frisky or any of the other pets in our house. Someone asked him if the dead people smelled bad. Another if he had been the one to put makeup on her grandmother when she died last Christmas. He answered all of their questions calmly, but he never once mentioned the magic he worked after a death, nor did he look at me. Something triggered in my brain.
I raised my hand to ask my question, but the bell rang and I forgot.

3. 

My mother died when I was eight months old. I don’t remember at all when she was alive, but I think he must have shown me her picture often at a young age because I remember her face. When I was seven I found their old home videos and watched them religiously. She was one of those natural beauties.
My dad both loved and hated to watch them, but he never said no when I wanted to pop one into the VCR. When I asked him as a teenager, he told me I had been the one to find her dead. She’d come into the nursery in the predawn hours. My dad was asleep in the other room when he heard the change in my cries. It was then he found her body on the floor in front of my crib.

4.

My father didn’t get into taxidermy until after her death. In fact, Frisky was his first success. As I grew older our pets grew bigger. When I was twenty I asked him why he started. Love, he said to me as he trimmed the nails on a golden retriever I had found in the street and wanted to name Vincent. When I made the assumption that he loved his work, he was quick to correct me. He told me he was the one who prepared her for burial and the hardest thing was seeing the lifelessness in her expression. I loved your mother, he told me as he gently combed Vincent’s hair, and I wanted to find a way. He paused and I started to ask the one question I’d forgotten since he’d talked about fixing people up during my fourth grade career day.
Dad, I began, have you ever—
I couldn’t finish because something in his eyes told me the answer and the already cool basement became an icebox sending chills up my arms. He gestured to industrial looking steel door, which I knew was where he kept the bodies prior to his working on them. I’d never been curious enough about his work to open it before. As I place my fingertips on the handle, my father’s voice broke the silence.
You were so young Meggie, and I just didn’t want you to lose the ones you love.
Frisky? I asked.
He took a deep breath and told me how we used to sit out on the porch in the evenings and when he started to come around on a regular basis my dad put out food for it. I’d just worked up the courage to pet the kitten when he found Frisky lying on the side of the street.
My hand closed about the steel and I took a deep breath before opening the door.
Mom?

Thirteen on Thursday: Bucket List

Just a few items in mine. 

1. Take a helicopter tour of any of the following places: Los Angeles (on a not-so-smoggy day), Paris, New York, Italy, England, Ireland, Russia

2. Take a ride in a hot air balloon.

3. Be able to perform a professionally choreographed dance to "Beat It" by Michael Jackson. Preferably choreographed by either Wade Robson or Shane Sparks. And if I can choose my partner, either Hok or Neil from SYTYCD. 

4. Hit up Vegas high roller style. 

5. Go whale watching. 

6. See a tornado/tsunami close up (and preferably survive)

7. Publish a romance novel. 

8. Go to Boston and tell everyone to "get in the fucken cah".

9. Meet Jason and Grant from TAPS.

10. Eat at the Ivy and hire photogs to pretend we're famous. 

11. Punch **** in the face for disrespecting me and my sancha. 

12. Blow an entire paycheck on something frivolous.

13. Roadtrip across the entire United States of America.   

Because I wanted to...and can't concentrate on homework

1. First thing you wash in the shower?
My hair

2. What color is your favorite hoodie?
brown

3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
...yes

4. Do you plan outfit?
only on important days

5. How are you feeling RIGHT now?
Frustrated with myself

6. What’s the closest thing to you that's red?
"What Price Love?" by Stephanie Laurens

7. Tell me about the last dream you remember having.
Going to CO with coworkers and ending up basically indentured servants working towards going home. 

8. Did you meet anybody new today?
our waitress megan who was delightful--->ditto

9. What are you craving right now?
menchies...and kellie...together

10. Do you floss daily?
outlook not good

11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage?
rachel

12. Are you emotional?
unfortunately yes. I try really hard not to show emotion other than happiness, but I fail...quite often

13. Have you ever counted to 1,000?
maybe when I first learned. I like to count in french now and usually I stop at 100

14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?

I'm a licker not a biter

15. Do you like your hair?
I wish I had curls!

16. Do you like yourself?
mentally, yes. Physically, I could use some work

17. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush?
As long as the word nuclear is pronounced correctly every time it comes up in our conversation. And he has to be wearing a 10 gallon cowboy hat. And maybe spurs. Yeah, definitely with the spurs. 

18. What are you listening to right now?
What Not to Wear

19. Are your parents strict?
they were when I was younger. Now, not so much. 

20. Would you go sky diving?
Yes, but I think I would like to do the indoor thing first. 

21. Do you like cottage cheese?
No. The texture freaks me out. And it tastes like nothing. 

22. Have you ever met a celebrity?
Quite a few actually

23. Do you rent movies often?
Not so much anymore. I have literally had the same DVD from Netflix for a year. I keep forgetting to mail it back. 

24. Is there anything sparkly in the room you're in?
Well, duh. Girl gotta have her bling. 

25. How many countries have you visited?
1

26. Have you made a prank phone call?
a lot when I was a kid. 

27. Ever been on a train?
yes! I love trains!

28. Brown or white eggs?
White...

29.Do you have a cell-phone?
yes

30. Do you use chap stick?
haha mostly lipgloss, but I do like my cherry chapstick

31. Do you own a gun?
no, but I bought my ex-best friend 2 air soft guns right before we stopped hanging out and I totally wanted to ask for them back. They are really fun. 

32. Can you use chop sticks?
Yes, but I'm probably still doing it wrong. 

33. Who are you going to be with tonight?
Your moms

34. Are you too forgiving?
Sometimes. I'm kind of a sucker. 

35. Ever been in love?
maybe?

36. What is your best friend(s) doing tomorrow?
*sigh* both will be in Colorado...without me. 

37. Ever have cream puffs?
yes! DELICIOUS!!!

38. Last time you cried?
Monday night. 

39. What was the last question you asked?
What happened?

40. Favorite time of the year?
Autumn 

41. Do you have any tattoos?
Hell no. I'm allergic to needles and pain. 

42. Are you sarcastic?
what do you think?

43. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect?
I started it, but felt like my imagination was being raped and didn't want to suffer any longer. 

44. Ever walked into a wall?
Hahahahahahaha! You have no idea. I just did it on Saturday. 

45. Favorite color?
Rainbow! (and no, I am not gay)

46. Have you ever slapped someone?
heh...ask Kellie

47. Is your hair curly?
No DAMNIT! I want to the curls soooooo bad

48. What was the last CD you bought?
Buy cds?! That's what Jason and Alix are for. I get them for frees. 

49. Do looks matter?
Yes, but it can be overcome by an excellent sense of humor. 

50. Could you ever forgive a cheater?
If by forgive you mean punch in the face and then in the genitals? Then yes, in a heartbeat. 

51. Is your phone bill sky high?
No idea. My dad pays for it (thank god!)

52. Do you like your life right now?
Sorta. 

53. Do you sleep with the TV on?
I fall asleep to it on, yes. But I set the sleep timer for like 30 minutes. 

54. Can you handle the truth?
It depends, but I'd rather know than wonder. 

55. Do you have good vision?
Not anymore. Its from reading too much. 

56. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people?
Yes. Intensely. 

57. How often do you talk on the phone?
Once a day maybe. Usually not more than that. 

58. The last person you held hands with?
Hmm...I have no idea. 

59. What are you wearing?
shorts and tank top. Its so fraking hot in here. 

60.What is your favorite animal?
Fennick Hare! So cute! Its a kitty bunny. 

61. Where was your profile picture taken at?
Washington, D.C. 

62. Can you hula hoop?
For like 2 seconds. 

63. Do you have a job?
Thankfully, yes. 

64. What was the most recent thing you bought?
Lunch for my wife. 

65. Have you ever crawled through a window?
Totally.