Why on earth would you take a vacation that involved sailing anywhere near Somalia?!!!

Stupid people

Thursday Resolution

Be upbeat and nice to people (i.e. be Bonnie from like 6 years ago).

Maybe these photos will help...

Things I did today

• Put a book on hold at Barnes & Noble and didn't pick it up.
• Ran into Miguel on the way to school for the first time even though he's been parking in my driveway since the end of August. :)
• Went to an enjoyable class session, but it did end with a paltry checkmark on the one writing assignment I really enjoyed creating. I think it was the rhyming that killed it for him :(
• Went to work and unpacked 1,000 boxes of PC crap
• Spent my break purchasing 32 oz. of fake blood, 25 feet of plastic sheeting, and green hair spray.
• Spent another 4 hours unpacking boxes of PC crap
• Went home.

Sure wish we had this in-store so I could use the 40% off coupon. Lame.

Flaws

I don't really like people with strong opinions. I think I fear that they have a greater chance of becoming zealous, and that freaks me out. Also, I hate when people refuse to change their opinions because they think it is a good trait to stick to your convictions. What if something happens in your life, or someone says something to you, and it just completely changes things? I totally have known people that ignore such epiphanies and remain dead set on their original opinion. Its annoying.

I think this is why I generally am uncomfortable around people who are: feminists, religious, political, activists, ethnocentric, prejudiced and sexist. I, myself, have prejudices, but they actually are pretty specific and based on personal experience. Plus, I am inclined to make exceptions once I've interacted with the person.

Writing exercise: Miniature/Vignette

Disturbed

The whole town hid, eyes glued to their screens; windows shut tightly to block out the screams. The signal failed and left them in fear, as they pondered what creature it was they could hear. Was it man or beast or unearthly being? Whose shadow was it that they were seeing?

Their questions remained three whole days in their heads, while they huddled and whispered prayers in their beds. When finally the fourth day brought silent relief, they ventured to learn the cause of such grief. And with shock each person did find, these horrors existed just in their mind.

!!!!

writing exercise: Endless Openings

I don't know. I'm not too sure if I like this one. It was kind of rushed and I feel like I didn't really do justice to the exercise.

A Love Story

It was a simple story, really—a love story. She was a princess, he a prince. They met through fate in a glen, where both ran to the rescue of a baby squirrel being terrorized by a large wolf. It was love at first sight and also decided that they would be married in the morning. The princess’s father, the king, heartily approved of the match and all in the land rejoiced in the union. And they lived happily ever after.

Or, it was a simple story, but life, as always, had other plans. She was a princess, yes, but her father wasn’t any old king. He was king of the south side—a crime lord, if you didn’t get the hint. The boy also remained a prince, but his monthly allowance was dwindling rapidly and he needed an influx of funds fast. Hence, his attempts to “accidentally” encounter the princess.

When they did meet it was quite by accident. He wasn’t expecting to find himself hauled to the abandoned railroad tracks at 1am and staring up at a loaded 9 mm. He also didn’t expect to hear her voice at the last second, saving his life. Kind by nature, the princess couldn’t bear knowing that her father had someone killed to protect her. In fact, to her, his willingness to die in order to meet her was romantic.

Or, simply put, it was a love story. She was a princess to all those people who watched her face light up the big screen. He was prince in much the same way. They’re meeting was arranged by fate, also known as their agents, and news of their impending nuptials hit the tabloids the very next day. Two days later the couple had their first date, sipping champagne on a romantic picnic in Central Park. The rags documented every moment of the whirlwind romance, particularly those days when he would show up on the set of her latest film reeking of whiskey. They similarly made sure to report about her rabid jealousy over his relationships with his costars.

They did manage to miss completely her affair with the producer of his new movie, a man known as the king of comedy. Our prince, of course, did not take kindly to the infidelity, but the fans loved him more as part of the perfect couple.

Or, it was a love story, simply motivated by politics. He was a prince, who wanted to be king, but first he needed a princess with the keys to the kingdom. She was a princess with powerful connections and deep pockets. It also didn’t hurt that she looked excellent in sweater sets and pearls. Her heart’s only desire was to marry and continue to look excellent in sweater sets and pearls.

They met at a garden party for the soon-to-be-retired king, both assessing the potential of the other from across the lawn. When they were eventually introduced by a mutual acquaintance only one word crossed their minds—perfect.

The match was made that very day and the contract between them finalized only a few short months later. The princess, her marriage now attained, and the prince, already laying down the money trail, took their first step towards the kingdom.

Beware the Blasphemy! (First full story of the semester. And, no, that's not the title)

Buried

Fr: Ari

-------------------------------

crew building the

temple found a buried

building!

-------------------------------

7:36pm Thu, Apr 1

CB#: Ari

Fr: Elijah

--------------------------------

i heard. prolly just another

old shack. don’t forget my

book 2morow.

--------------------------------

7:39 Thu, Apr 1

CB#: Elijah

Fr: Ari

-------------------------------

haha ur prolly right. ppl

hardly ever find anything

in Jerusalem anymore

--------------------------------

7:43 Thu, Apr 1

CB#: Ari

† † †

From: Maria M Evangelista <m.evang1@ju.edu>

Date: Fri, Apr 30, 2990 at 2:52 PM

Subject: Issues in Israel

To: Sara Daniels <s.daniels.3@nyu.edu>

Omg! Can you believe all of this would happen while I’m here studying abroad? It’s so awesome. You would never believe how insane it is over here. Everyone is speculating on who it is, but all my Jewish friends remain pretty uninterested in the whole thing. Probably because it was the Vatican that found it. I don’t care who found it, I just find the whole thing incredibly interesting (especially because it’s the result of someone actually daring to go against the church). See what we miss out on when people are sheep?

Sorry, didn’t mean to get preachy on ya. Just wanted to drop you a line cause this all made me miss our debates. Hope you’re doing well up in the Big Apple.

Ciao!

-M

From: Sara Daniels <s.daniels.3@nyu.edu>

Date: Fri, Apr 30, 2990 at 6:33 PM

Subject: Re: Issues in Israel

To: Maria M Evangelista <m.evang1@ju.edu>

I am soooooooo jealous right now! I hate you almost as much as I miss you. All the Jewish people here (which, you know is like everyone) are intensely interested in the goings on over there. I guess if you’ve been living near the Holy City for so long you just kind of become immune to “discoveries”. Wasn’t the last major find the body of a goat or something? Anyway, all of us keep coming up with theories as to the identity. Paulo, our resident atheist, is convinced its Jesus :-P

Speaking of theory, I gotta hit the books for my big test. Hopefully we’ll find out the truth soon.

Much love! (and equal amounts of jealousy)

-S

P.S. I miss your rants about the Catholic Church and it’s “lies”. Now I have nothing to do between classes. :)

“Time heals old pain, while it creates new ones.”

From: Maria M Evangelista <m.evang1@ju.edu>

Date: Sun, May 15, 2990 at 3:33 PM

Subject: O.M.G. indeed

To: Sara Daniels <s.daniels.3@nyu.edu>

You are hereby sworn to secrecy.

My friend Jayel works for one of the linguists examining the wall (basically he just fetches water and shit) and has seen what it says.

I’ve attached two photos he managed to take with his phone. The first is a picture of a picture of the wall and the second is the tentative translation.

Crazy sauce, man.

-M

_____________________________________________________________________

2 attachments — Download all attachments View all images

1.jpg

53K View Download

2.jpg

51K View Download

† † †

callmeJ RT @masterbuilder: Construction crew unburies #bodyofchrist in Israel?!

10:37 AM May 22^nd from web

thomasdl @callmeJ Are you shitting me? Has it been confirmed? I thought the carbon dating took awhile?

12:16 PM May 22^nd from TwitterBerry in reply to callmeJ

callmeJ @thomasdl No official confirmation, but did you read what the message said?

3:16 PM May 22^nd from web in reply to @thomasdl

† † †

For Christ’s sake!

Everyone has been up in arms about this whole Jesus fiasco. Every television station has a live feed to Israel. But how can we really know anything? We can carbon date the shit out of that body but whose to say its not some poor guy who was just chillin’ in Jerusalem who spent everyday of his life working hard to feed his children? And now the dude can’t get any peace in death.

I say, if they date it around the time of Jesus then its time to stop focusing on the how and take a gander at the why. Who cares how his body got there? A better question is: why did we find it now? I mean, we’ve been actively looking for how long for signs of his existence? So why now, when we’ve decided to simply accept and honor him (with a giant building of course), did we find proof that he lived and died? We believe that we rise and go to heaven, right? And yet, we remain buried and wept over. Why can’t Jesus?

Text posted at 11:53 PM | Permalink

† † †

Angelica Gomez is conflicted about finding Jesus

03 Jun at 19:22 Comment - Like - See Wall—to—Wall

You and 4 other people like this

View all 11 comments

Luz Perkins They still haven’t completed analysis of the body

and the debate over the message continues.

03 Jun at 21:30

Christian Ramirez Aren’t we all?

03 Jun at 21:46

† † †

Confirmation: Laborers find Jesus

By David Lapid

Published: July 4, 2990

ISRAEL — Early morning on Thursday, April 1^st, a construction crew outside of Jerusalem stumbled upon what is definitely the greatest find of the century, if not ever—the body of Christ. The crew was hired to tear down several small structures, most recently used as a shelter for the homeless and a small market, to the Northeast of the Catholic cemetery by the Mount of Olives. Once demolition was completed several other crews were to join them and begin the construction of an elaborate temple-like structure dedicated to the life and works of Jesus Christ. The project was to be completed in time for the celebration of 3,000 years since his death.

This, at least, was the Vatican’s plan until its demolition crew discovered an anomaly in the Northern most structure’s foundation. Assuming that the raised portions of the earth might indicate the location of a buried building, the foreman contacted Vatican representatives to suggest that the demolition be halted and an archeologist be called in to investigate. International law would also require that the Israeli government be notified and consulted. Reports suggest that the Vatican, concerned that the find might impede the already delayed project, told the company to simply “fill in the gaps” and begin laying down the foundation for the new structure.

Eli Gottesdiener, the foreman on the project, decided instead to investigate a little. “I told my crew that my superiors decided we should continue with the foundation, but none of us liked the idea of leaving something like that hidden,” Gottesdiener told the press in a conference on Thursday, “We decided instead to carefully investigate the area. I called my friend Hasim to oversee. It was clear right away that it was a structure. It looked small, like one room. I knew I had to call [the Vatican] again.” Gottesdiener did make the call and this time Vatican representatives were forced to postpone the project because of international diplomacy.

Early on in the project’s history, they had faced several problems with the acquisition of the land. Israel, still a largely Hebrew nation, eventually agreed to sell the land to the Catholic Church for an exorbitant $23 billion. The purchase caused a uproar in the Catholic community, as it became apparent that the community at large had been unaware of such a wealth within the Church.

Hoping to avoid another incident within the Church and anxious to continue the project, representatives from the Vatican traveled to Jerusalem immediately to investigate. Hasim Lempel, Gottesdiener’s friend and head of the Archeology department at Jerusalem University, confirmed to the representatives that their construction site was now an archeological one.

The structure was, as Gottesdiener said, a small one, consisting of two rooms. When initially revealed, Lempel assumed it was a house for the outcast, given its size and distance from any other structural finds. Further excavation revealed, however, a third, sealed room wherein they discovered a nicely preserved human corpse.

“It was immediately clear that we found a body,” Lempel said. “It was actually quite shocking how well it was preserved.” The discovery of a body made it clear that they had stumbled upon a tomb. The body was immediately sent to the JU lab for analysis and preservation, while the team of archeologists now on site, continued to examine the structure.

No other bodies were discovered, but carved into the walls of the third room, Hasim and his team found writings etched around the space that the body had occupied. They appeared to be written in Ancient Aramaic: the language of Jesus. Examiners of the writing confirmed the language and revealed that it appears to say, “He stands as the right hand of the father and lives”. There is debate, however, among those that have seen the wall that this is not the complete message and that the last portion was too damaged over the years to interpret.

Analysis of the body confirmed that it would’ve been buried around the time of Jesus’ death. This information combined with the message written above the body has Christians across the globe in an uproar, as they try to reconcile the spiritual implications of the physical existence of their savior.

“As a Christian you experience the whole spectrum of emotion,” says Mary Somers in Los Angeles, California, “One minute you’re ecstatic, because here is proof that you believe in someone real. Then the next, you realize that if his body is in Jerusalem, then how can he have risen from the dead? What does this mean about the Bible? They’ve opened up a whole new Pandora’s box over there.”

And what does the Pope have to offer his community in crisis? The Vatican declined to comment.

† † †

From: Paulo Bautista <p.bautista.7@nyu.edu>

Date: Mon, Jul 4, 2990 at 3:33 PM

Subject: Finding Jesus

To: All

I called it!

-Paulo

"Question with boldness even the existence of God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason than that of blindfolded fear." - Thomas Jefferson

Writing exercise: Chronicle

Chronicle: write a 250-500 word story based on or modeled after a newspaper account. The narrative should follow the inverted pyramid structure of a news report, with an eye-catching headline, a strong top-heavy lead, and odd details falling to the bottom of the piece. Aim for an intentional confusion of fact and fiction in content while adhering to the structure of an essay.

Confirmation: Laborers find Jesus

By David Lapid

Published: July 4, 2990

ISRAEL — Early Thursday morning on April 1^st, a construction crew outside of Jerusalem stumbled upon what is definitely the greatest find of the century, if not ever—the body of Christ. The crew was hired to tear down several small structures, most recently used as a shelter for the homeless and a small market, to the Northeast of the Catholic cemetery by the Mount of Olives. Once demolition was complete several other crews would join them and begin the construction of an elaborate temple-like structure dedicated to the life and works of Jesus himself, to be completed in time for the celebration of 3,000 years since his death.

This, at least, was the Vatican’s plan until its demolition crew discovered an anomaly in the Northern most structure’s foundation. Assuming that the raised portions of the earth might indicate the location of a buried building, the foreman contacted Vatican representatives to suggest that the demolition be halted and an archeologist be called in to investigate. International law also would require that the Israeli government be notified and consulted. Reports suggest that the Vatican, concerned that the find might impede the already delayed project, told the company to simply “fill in the gaps” and begin laying down the foundation for the new structure.

Eli Gottesdiener, the foreman on the project, decided instead to investigate a little. “I told my crew that my superiors decided we should continue with the foundation, but none of us liked the idea of leaving something like that hidden,” Gottesdiener told the press in a conference on Thursday, “We decided instead to carefully investigate the area. I called my friend Hasim to oversee. It was clear right away that it was a structure. It looked small, like one room. I knew I had to call [the Vatican] again.” Gottesdiener did make the call again and this time Vatican representatives were forced to postpone the project because of international diplomacy.

Early on in the project’s history, they faced several problems with the acquisition of the land. Israel, however, eventually agreed to sell the land to the Catholic Church for an exorbitant $8.3 billion. The purchase caused an uproar in the Catholic community, as it became apparent that the Vatican simply wasn’t sharing the wealth.

Hoping to avoid another incident within the Church, representatives from the Vatican traveled to Jerusalem immediately to investigate. Hasim Lempel, Gottesdiener’s friend and head of the Archeology department at Jerusalem University, confirmed to the representatives that their construction site was now an archeological one.

The structure was, as Gottesdiener said, a small one, consisting of two rooms. When initially revealed, Lempel assumed it was a house for the outcast, given its size and distance from any other structural finds. Further excavation revealed, however, a third, sealed room wherein they discovered a nicely preserved human corpse.

“It was immediately clear that we found a body,” Lempel said. “It was actually quite shocking how well it was preserved.” The discovery of a body made it clear that they had stumbled upon a tomb. The body was immediately sent to the JU lab for analysis and preservation, while the team of archeologists now on site, continued to examine the structure.

No other bodies were discovered, however, carved into the walls of the third room, Hasim and his team found writings etched around the space that the body had occupied. They appeared to be written in Ancient Aramaic: the language of Jesus. Examiners of the writing confirmed the language and revealed that it appears to say, “He stands as the right hand of the father and lives”. There is debate, however, among those that have seen the wall that this is not the complete message and that the last portion was too damaged over the years to interpret.

Analysis of the body confirmed that it would’ve been buried around the time of Jesus’ death. This information combined with the message written above the body has Christians across the globe in an uproar, as they try to reconcile the spiritual implications of the physical existence of their savior.

“As a Christian you experience the whole spectrum of emotion,” says Mary Somers in Los Angeles, CA, “One minute you’re ecstatic, because here is proof that you believe in someone real. Then the next, you realize that if his body is in Jerusalem, then how can he have risen from the dead? What does this mean about the Bible? They’ve opened up a whole new Pandora’s box over there.”

And what does the Pope have to offer his community in chaos? The Vatican declined to comment.